"Your love makes it worth it, your love makes it worth it all,
All to you, i surrender, oh all of my dreams and all of me, i surrender;
i trust you God"

..When you're walking this road in life,

sometimes the best thing to do is yield..

"And through all the questioning, you've been the hope in me..
Despite uncertainty, you've been the only contant thing..
And when im struggling, you keep on loving me the same..
This is the hope that lies in you.."

Not an Accident'

In case your ever wondering why you are here,

and why you were given this life.

"We arn't here on accident, we are not an accident: an accident is not pre planned and doesn't happen on purpose. We were pre planned, and we have a purpose were here for a purpose and for a reason. " God gave us purpose and a plan, he designed our whole entire life.
Quote by: Nicole Houston

"I don't want to see you fall, but i can't be holding on, to the same mistakes we always make.."

Wondering what comes next.

sometimes;

I think that we all get too carried away with where we are headed,

or where we want to go and we get so deceived to whats right in front of us. What opportunities lie right before our eyes.

And in these moments, well they are almost impossible to escape,

only because everything you could wish for feels so real.

But what exactly is real?

Because...

Sometimes feeling alone is real.

Sometimes feeling confused is real.

Sometimes feeling hurt is real.

and

sometimes feeling pain is real.

Sometimes feeling abondoned is real.

Sometimes feeling broken is real.

and

somtimes feeling connected is real.

sometimes feeling healed is real.

Sometimes feeling love is real.

So if real can apply to us in so many ways,.. the way we feel things.

Then what is the reality we stand in right now?

Is it actually real?

Or is everything just moments of feeling something.

who we are,

..Nobody ever knows the full story of who we are,

or whats written beneath our own reality"

story.

So we are all in the process of writing our story.

Our story is what makes us who we are, and we are the ones who write it.

So as we parade this road in life, we are simply creating something so fragile and

so relevant.

Its something that is so arduous to fully comprehend. And so many times, all thats written for us to do is to stand, stand in one place, and try to understand those of the things that are so confound.

All of the questions in our life that keep us from chasing our dreams, and the questions in life that keep us from taking risks. The times where we feel so modest compared the majority of things, and we feel so obscure from everything.

Everything that we do, is what draws the picture of who we are, its what maps out our lives and disposes where our road is taking us. The one that is so distinct to us because we created it.

It is our life story.

our life story which is being written with every breath we take.

our life story, our whole world.

chance or a reason?

Yesturday I caught myself staring vigorously into the cloudy but yet so vibrant blue sky.

It was at that still moment where I questioned the world.

How can the world be made up of so many different places?

How is it possible that somewhere in this world miles away from me, someone could be starring promptly at the exact same sun or moon?

How is it possible that the time can change instantly either a few hours ahead or a few behind and yet everything goes on normally other than the lightness when we step outside in the morning or evening?

How is it possible that one day this life of ours will be gone? Our bodies will be barried beneath the ground and everything we once new, everything we once were so familiar with and had so much meaning to us, will have lost that meaning. From that moment things will be different.

We will be with our creater our father in heaven and live in eternity with him. Or we will go the other way.. the place satan is so determined to guide us to. A very dark and lonely place.

One in which no one deserves to go to. No matter what the mistakes are, because there is forgivness. We have chances.

So as i stare into the sky and suddenly escape this world and put it under me for just a few seconds.. The thing i think about is what happens next?

I dont want to die in this life and not have made a difference.

I want to share with the world what God has done in my life.

I want to share with you that everything in life doesnt just happen by chance,

the people we meet, the places we go, the people that leave, the opportunities that come up, they dont all just happen by a coincidence or by chance.

The night sky isnt lit up by stars and a moon that shines everywhere by chance.

My Friend Barclee once said "The world isnt perfectly round all by chance".

And i strongly believe that everything here isnt here by chance.

We arnt on this earth by chance.

& we sure are not given forgivness by chance.

But instead God sent his son to die on the cross so that we may have life, and our sins may be washed away by the blood of Jesus.

God has a meaning and a reason for everything, and nothing that happens, just happens by chance.

So why are we here than?

Only God can answer that question for you.

Only God can show you the vision he has for your life.

& only you can decide which road you want to take in life... Without God this life has no meaning. It is with him where we find meaning.

Chance, ..

This life we live in this world that surrounds us,

is not created by chance.

You are not here by chance. but rather for a beautiful reason'

here's to all the lost & lonely people out there;

in the midst of a dark place, there is light & it will help you find a way back'

Question of the day'

Why wait for something good to happen?

Make it happen now.

hope;

I've been on the path of trying to figure out who i am for a while now, and right before im even a tad close to figuring this vision something changes. I'm confused about a lot of things, who i am, where i am supposed to be and what im called to do in this life. Who my friends really are and if what im doing right now is even worth it.

It's tough sometimes but i guess this is what life is, this is what the reality of it is.

Life takes you on a journey of love, grieving, happiness, secrets, passion, fufilment, achievment, fogivness,

grace,

peace,

mourning,

enjoyment,

regret,

stability,

assurance,

acceptance,

lies,

truth

The list could go on, but with every down fall in life theres always something there to pick you up, theres always something to pull you back into this world to find composure again. There is always gonig to be hope, no matter how far you have drifted and lost you are.

Theres always that hope that un levels your feet from the ground, that lets you run after what ever you desire, your passion your biggest dreams.

There is hope in every lie that you hear, because somewhere along the way the truth unvails itself and the light shines through the smallest crack,

it proves that there is hope.

So there is hope.

start over;

Don't dwell on the past, because it is gone, instead try to turn your attention to the present and what has yet to come, what the road ahead has in store for you; we cant change the things that have no existance anymore, we cant go back.

We can start over.

I
have dreams, hopes and goals. Someday ill pursue them.

I believe that God has huge plans for my life.

Truth is absolute, it always will be.

I'm Pretty Content With Who I Am\

'Slowly painting the picture of my vision'

.............................

.............................

"Have I told you I ache,
have I told you I ache,
Have I told you I ache,
for you..."

I Need You More - Bethel Live

Narrative Essay that i wrote about my Grandpa for english. Good Copy

"SHAKEN UP"

It was an ordinary day at my cottage in Greyvanhurst summer of 2009. I could smell the warm breeze from the wind through my window, and feel the sun as it covered me. I never thought that anything so dreadful could happen to my family and me. When something like this happens, you can't just push it aside and instantly expect to let it go. In fact, is something like this ever accepted and let go?

There were only a few seconds, if any at all, for me to react to this severe situation. The only impulse was from my heart. I could barely function right, my palms were sweaty and it felt as though my heart was exploding in fear. It was being ripped like an old pair of jeans, right out of my chest. I could no longer feel the sun shining, or smell the warm breeze; at this moment i couldn't feel anything but the painful ache in my chest.

I was watching T.V upstairs with my sister. To get downstairs you have to walk over a ramp and down a little old cement path to the main door from the outside. I heard my grandma screaming, and the worry in her voice frightened me, but prepared me from understanding that something abhorrent had become reality. At this moment my heart sank in my chest, as if i were surrounded by a pool of sinking sand. The loud beating made it even more apparent that this was it. The moment i ran into that old heavy door was the moment something was about to dramatically change. Running to the main part of my cottage, where my grandma's screaming was coming from, I didn't fully uunderstand what exactly had happened. It was'nt until my grandma directed me to my old room going at a fast pace when i could understand why she was so shaken up. Instantly i told my grandma to call 911! I could feel the turning of my stomach like a rollercoaster going upside down. It was abominable!

He was laying there, crammed between the bed and dreser. He looked as though no life was left in him, as if his soul had left and all that was grounded was his fragile body.

Lying there was my grandpa. A man who was like a father to me. Emotions were thrown around in my head, like card in a deck being shuffled. Helplessly shaking, I stood there; we had to lure him out from that limited space that he was in. My gandma and i arranged his body to be lying on his back; we quickly got pillows to rest his head on, while my sister ran to the neighbours. I was terrified, and panicking. The lady on the 911 call told me to listen or feel for a heartbeat. The only thing i could hear was my relentless breathing, and the only thing i could feel, was the sweat from my hands and my face beginning to heat up.

There was nothing, not one single sign of a heartbeat. My eyes watered, like a heavy waterfall of tears just waiting to burst. I placed my hands on his. There was nothing that i could do. I felt like a little kid trying to tie their own show for the very first time, or the first time saying the ABC's, confused and helpless to the situation. My hands were sweaty but that didn't keep me from taking them off his, I was praying to God that he would wake up, but this was reality, seeing his body lying there broke me. The Paramedics came and immediately told my grandma, sister and I to clear out so they could have room to help my grandpa.

Minutes went by, my heart was beating extremely fast, and exiguous words were said. Only the look on our faces could prove how our hearts felt. We wanted nothing more but for the Paramedics to come out and say "he's going to be alrigh", or "we got here right on time". The door opened, i could see the shadow of the paramedic as he slipped outside. The look on his face was confusing to understand, until he began to get closer. His words were, "I'm te... and right there i knew it was bad, "I'm terribly sorry, but he did not make it". The paramedic declared. I felt like a bowling pin in a bowling alley, being the first pin hit by this abstruse bowling ball aimed promptly at me. My world instantly shattered, my head was so abundant of questions that I could not answer, and my heart was exclusively broken. I couldn't believe it; something in me just wouldn't accept the fact that he was really gone. The truth is it was my world now, it was reality, and i couldn't change what had happened.

A man who was a father to me, he taught me that giving up on anything in life was not crucial and that you can push through it. He taught me how to build a barbeque piece by piece, and how to paint an awesome picture. He taught me that life is so much more than the things that bring us down. That when we come across dark places in our lives, it is possible to find the light, and get out. Also, the storms in life will always come to pass. It's never too late to start over and change. As a person I have learned that this life is just a passing place until eternity.

I've accepted that he is gone. And i believe that he is in a superior place. He may not be here on earth with me, but he's always gonig to be in my heart. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and though we might not know the reason, someday it's all going to make sense. No matter how tough life may be, everything will end up being alright.

"You're so much more than anything".

The light

If i could tell the world just one thing, anything.
I'd say;

"The light in a dark place is not too far"

No matter how dark it is where you are in your life at this point.

There is a light, there is a hope, and you can reach it.

I know what its like to be in those dark, lonely, places.

It feels like everything is caving in and anything you've once known slightly dissapears.

Its just everytime you try to get somewhere in your life, theres always that one thing pulling you back to a place of doubt.

Maybe these places are what makes us stronger? They are the places that push us to keep going, teaching us that giving up is not necessary and that we can beat this.

It's those dark, lonely places in life that get us to the light.

The light isnt far, keep pushing through this and youll find that place.

The place of freedom, happiness, and joy.

A place where you can finally be content with who you are.

"I want to run deeper into your presence"

thank you.

No matter where i am in this life,

i know that your here, i know that your keeping me safe, and your leading me onward.

No matter how far i stumble, or break down you always catch me right before i fall, and if i have fallen, you always show me a way out.

Your love is amazing,

your love is what keeps me going.

You are always right here no matter how much i dissapoint you.

you will never leave me.

Thank You.

You'.

Sometimes life slips up, and we fall apart. Everything we once were and everything we once believed in well, gets barried beneath that place in which identifies our self-being. A world in which has every little bit of saying as to who we are. It's pretty sad, when we can stumble in life and lose ourselves to what the world is offering us. We become fixated on what the world has defined us as.

And than question why we can't seem to figure out who we are ourselves. Why we arn't quit content with who we are yet.

Instead, we have been hiding behind this wall holding us back, making who we are to be washed away.

Living in this world, and trying to figure out who you are, is challenging, and its something that everyone has to encounter.

You have to be strong and not get lost with the things the world says, instead search much deeper and find what your heart says. What your heart feels and maybe than you can reach the person you've been dying to find.

And that person is you.

'Trying to figure out where this life is taking me.

Where I'm supposed to be. & Who I'm supposed to be'

trying to figure it all out.

So many times, i sit here in silence, and i try to make sence of it all.
So many times i have sat here and glanced at the ceiling, wondering why no matter how hard you try to keep someone, theres always that moment when they leave.

I dont understand how people can just be here one moment and gone another,
how families can be destroyed, how children can be taken away in a matter of seconds, how all of this causes hurt in our hearts, how our hearts break in half because of something that makes no sence to us at all.

How no matter how hard we try to keep these memories close to our hearts, sooner or later they find away of fading.
We try to keep there smell around, for the sake of believing that they are still here. But eventually that smell goes away,

I have sat here so many times, i just dont understand why you had to leave, why i was there and there was nothing i could do.....
i miss you :(

.. I'm making my way b a c k

"disaster in a bottle.:"

We all make mistakes at some points in our lives, some are just bigger than others, some actually make a difference.
Some mistakes just come and go within a day, where we just let it go and we move on, but others stick with yeah for a while before it feels like its seperated from you.

Mistakes are mistakes.. its what writes your past, and what writes your future. Mistakes are little obsticles in life that we choose to walk through, and in the end its usually just this big big overwhelming weight of regret. That we carry around each day, some are more heavy than others.

We are told to take chances, and so we do, sometimes alot of thought is put into these steps of chance, and sometimes there is no thought at all.

So we walk around with this huge weight over our shoulder, and we forget how we even got to this place.

Could just numerous little drops of mistakes, regret, fear, questions, popularity, insecurity, failure, depression, lonelyness, ambitiousness, and curiosity actually fit into one bottle?

Could that bottle actually change the rest of the steps that you take in life? Could it change everything?

Too many times when we make a mistake, we tend to forget who we are, so we give up, we lose that ability to hold onto hope. We tend to just fall into old patterns, we tend to just make more mistakes, and instead of finding the way out of things, and the light, we stay in the place we are, because its the person you know now, its the girl you have become familiar with, its the girl that all your friends know now.

so how do you get out?

Do you pick that bottle up and drop it so that all the drops of mistakes, regret, fear, questions, popularity, insecurity, failure, depression, lonelyness, ambitiousness, and curiosity all pour out of this bottle?
The one thing that go you to this dark place.

Just amounts of disaster filled in a bottle.

Do you walk this new life? Still with that weight on your shoulder, and that bottle in your hand.

Or do you find away out?
What is the way out?

this is reality

Life is too short, so forget about the things in life that have brought you down, the heart aches, broken promises, dissapointments and regret, the truth is, things arnt always going to make sence, but everything in the end happens for a reason..

I think we are all dissillusioned on how much we have, and how much we take for granteed, or the fact that time can tell alot... the last words said to someone could write the rest of your story.

I think that too much of the time, we are so focused on trying to figure out who we are, and we tend to lose ourselves on what the world wants us to be.

When our hearts hurt, and the pain is there; the heart ache, we do anything to hide it, but that scar is always going to be there. Its not easy.

As hard as it might be to admit for some, we all need some help sometimes, someone who can bring you back to who you are. to reality,.

It's time to let go of the past and fully let it all go'
It's time baby girl ,

to move on.

It's time to run, and not be afraid to fall.
because this is just life, and there is so much more.

We are all made in God's image , and the devil hates the fact that everyone of us is made in the image of our heavinly father.
So he trys to get at us, by destroying who we are in the inside, to make us more like the devil when it comes to our attitudes, our thoughts and our actions,

We need to be strong people of God, and we need to believe in what God has in store for us , what ever that is, and not get lost in the doubts, mistakes, and regrets.

We are made in God's image, and we need to turn our thoughts, actions, and attitudes towards God as well.

I'm believing that there is hope for you,
& I'm believing that one day everything is going to make sence. <3

There's more to this life, i know it,
what am i waiting for?

life can hit you, at unexpected times .

it can hit you in a good way , but there are those times when it hits you and it knocks you down.

falling head first in this world.



its hard seeing your friends hurting, and knowing how much someone meant to them, and then knowing that they are gone.

but what do we say, only so little words can be said in a time like this, or even none at all.



the world can seem like a dark place at these times.

and understanding why this could happen isnt an understanding because no body knows why.



sometimes you just have to have faith and believe that they are in a better place now..

everything happens for a reason, and maybe this was all part of gods plan?



to all of cody's friends and family , hang in there and stay strong .

dont give up.

everything in life happens for a reason, no matter how hard it is to understand that reason, someday it's all going to make sence <3

"They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who is seated on the throne said, "I am making everythig new!" Revelations 21:3-5

.. Trying to figure things out'

God can Change your life

If i could ask for just one thing,..
it would be that you would change.

I know there is no way for me to change you.
you have to be whilling to leave it all behind and try to make things right with the ones you have left behind.

But i do believe that God can change your heart if you let him in.
God can change your life, he can change the way you think about things, and he can change the direction that you are walking in.
God can move in you like no other feeling.

God can change your life.

If i could ask for just one thing..
i will ask for God to move and work in your life, i will ask for God to change your life, and to change you.

You are Forgiven.

"And if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their conquerors and say, "We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly" 1 Kings 8:47

Life at different steps.

I pace myself, as i wait trying to grasp words and pull them together for just a moment. Something to help understand life. And where i am in it.

Life i take it as different steps.

A stair case for example. Everyone is at their own point in their life, and they are reaching their own step in life... Some are on the first step of figureing out who they are, and others are somwhere in between.

Some are falling, but always having someone to help them back up.

Each day is another step you take.
Theres always going to be someone on the same step as you in life..

Life isnt about racing to the top.. its about learning things and understanding why you are on this earth. Its about knowing your hopes and dreams, and what God's plan is for your life, because he has one for you.. The reason why you are here, is because he made you, he created you, he died for you.. and your sins are forgiven so that you can follow his path.

Dont't get lost in your dreams and the worlds expectations, rather than the beauty of God's plan for you.

Lose yourself in what God has planned for your life.

Proverbs 23:18 < 3

"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cutt off."

...

I know you are here

i can hear your whispers through the ocean waves



I can feel you pushing me forward,

and encourageing me to go onward.

I can feel your touch through the breeze, through the wind. I know you are here, your with me every day.. though i cant see you. your presence is more than enough to keep me believing.

your voice is more than enough to let me listen..
your push is more than enough to let me move on.
your heart is big enough to know im loved.
your hands are big enough to hold me..
your eyes are opened to direct my path..

my eyes will be opened to what you have for me..
my ears are open to listen to the wisdom you give me..
my heart is all yours.
and my hands will reach out to yours... because thats where i want to be.

you mean everything to me

the wind blows, the sky is lit, the stars are shining, and the waves are making everything else dissapear.
i can feel everything, the warm breeze of the wind, and the waves crashing over my feet.

like waves crashing, life isnt always going to be a smooth road.
theres going to be those times when the current takes you under, when life takes you down unexpectedly, but theres always going to be hope.
always hope.

life is a journey, we all are trying to figure out,
no body ever promised things would be easy because if they did, they would be lying.

i sit out, and all i hear are the waves crashing, i see the moonlight, and the stars up above.
and i know that this is life.
& there is something more than where i am, ive just go to find that .
life is out to suprise us, but maybe we need to eccept it, theres a meaning behind it all .

everything happens for a reason.

offers.

Stop running away, & start running towards him,
There is an offer away from the things that will kill you. Theres a better way.
Sometimes we go through life and we abuse these offers.

Stop chasing the htings that are killing you, and start chasing after him, surrender your all for the glory of God, the one who gave you this life. And the one who gives you great offers.

Don't take the offer of the world/planet and take Gods offer. Truth is the truth.
What are you chasing that will kill your walk with God?
& what are you so afraid of, there is a better offer out there for you!

You cant fight some of the things in life that your fighting for, without him.

With him all things are possible <3

Created by meee :)

Goodbye'

I'm letting you go today..

Gone into the wind,

its been a slow fade.. but today your gone.

Theres no turning back to you anymore. I'm leaving you behind.

Your in my past now, and thats how it will stay. The wind will take you away far away, and the peice of you will be left behind. Because this girl here, well, shes moving on. I know its the right thing to do. I've been holding onto you for to long, and this part of me is walking forward. This part of me is letting you go. Your like a piece in a puzzle that doesnt fit, a peice that shouldnt be here and ive got to throw you away, it's time to make the past the past... because your still here i cant, i need to let you go. Just an extra peice that ive placed in my life, but today i realize, i havnt moved on with you still here.

And the truth is, i dont want to keep you & i dont want to remember you anymore. I just want you gone.

today i say goodbye to you.

so here it is...

'goodbye.

temporary home.

Sometimes i wish i could just get out of here,
like theres a better place somewhere else, because i know there is a better place.
And i know that this is just my temporary home.

But ive realized something..

We walk through life, with attendancy to just think about our own, and our life story because its te story we have been living, its the story we know. We dont think about others and how theres could be worst because to us our life story is the problem. If you actually think to yourself theres alot more people around you whose life story is tearing them apart more than you could ever imagine.

So i think that if we all took a moment and thought about the people around us, even if they may e strangers then our life story wouldnt be the problem. We would start to realize alot of things about life just by knowing someone els's.

This is my temporary home, and God has a plan for my life.
I am his daughter and i will hold onto him with everything i am, no matter how many times i have failed him, i know i am forgiven.

I will follow him, he is my direction.
I will run afer him.

Dear Friend,

Your always here for me, someone i can talk to easily.
About anything, and i know that i can trust you, and i know that i can take your advice on anything.
I can tell you anything, and i mean anything and i trust that you wont let it get out to anyone.

I know we have both been through hard times in our lives, where its hard to understand alot of things,
sometimes its even hard to understand who we are ourselves.
or for me at least.

But i know that i can count on you to always be here for me.
By talking to each other about things that we are going through ourselves. Really lets me realize alot of things about life, just by knowing really your life story and the things you have been through, and the things you are going through right now.

It lets me know that even in the midst of hard times...
no matter what is going on in our lives we have each other to always bring hope into a dark place that we might be in. Theres always going to be those times... where the light feels so far away...

But having a Best friend like you, lets the light seem more possible.
rather than impossible.

You have helped me through a lot of things in life,
thank you.

"I'm standing underneith the stars, & i wish you were here. "

"I'll never know how much it cost,
to see my sin upon that cross.

Here i am to worship,
here i am to bow down,
here i am to say that your my god,
your altogether lovely,
all together worthy,
all together wonderful to me"

"The Letter"

.....

Though stunned by those words,

she held her composure.

As she gazed reverently at the words layed out on that ancient letter.

.....

Realization began to sink in.

It made her realize something that she didnt want to admit.

.....

It felt like waves crashing violently, her world began to fall, though the wind abruptly died.

The roar of the ocean around her echoing through the thin air kept its pace.

She felt everything.

.....

In a sudden spurt of frusteration, the sound of her breathing gradually deepened relentlessly.

The feeling of futility began to cave in.

.....

....becoming smaller with every passing moment.

tears welling up in her eyes.

.....

Trying and failing to fall asleep, she thought of one thing.

She had to let go.

.....

She had to let it all go.

.....

Waves crashing and the echo of the ocean through the thin air, she reached her hands out,

hoping for something to hold her ground.

.....

She let go of those profound words scattered onto that page.

The letter that left her deeply stunned.

.....

She let it go.

.....

The letter soared into the clouds that would obliterate everything below.

.....

She realized that she spent so much of her time making up for things she failed to say,

as hard as it was to admit, she did.

.....

Sometimes people just dont understand.
they come up with their own ideas, their own thoughts and opinions about your life.

they cant fully understand how you feel about things because they arnt you, and they dont go through the same things you have gone through.

Lost between who i was, and who i am.

~Silence defeated by a ray of hope~

I woke up from a dream,
He was there, standing right next to me, everything felt so real.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

THE SPACE IN BETWEEN US

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

let it all go

Maybe its time to let it all go,

& so i fall,

i dont want to feel this small,

i dont know how to handle this at all.

I was so close,

and it was the most i have ever been through. It was the most i have ever felt before.

how can you ask for me to stay here with you tonight, when all you ever do is go.

Maybe its time to let it all go.

"With God All Things Are Possible."

Mathew 19:27

Sometimes life throws bumps in the road your on,
& at those moments, you just dont know how to get over them.

Peter Claus McGuigan: August 16th 1934 - August 10th 2009

You Will Always Be... In Our Hearts
R.I.P Papa Pete
We Will Remember!

Even Though You Arn't here with us now, you will always be in our hearts, and i know one day we will see you again.
I Love You Papa Pete!

You've got your whole life ahead of you,
dont throw it all away by living in the past.

<3

Every single day, I thank God for his unseen hands,
sometimes erging me onward and pushing me to move forward,
sometimes holding me back; from the things that will interfere with his plan for my life.
Sometimes with his aproval, sometimes with his correcting,
and sometimes for his comforting.

My life is in his hands.
And i trust him with all my heart,

Romans 11:29 says;

"For god's gift and his call are irrevocable."

Genesis 28:15 says;

"I'am with you and will watch over you where ever you go, and i will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until i have done what i have promised you."

My life is blessed, and iam thankful because God holds me in his hands,
he never fails me,
and he never leaves,
he is the one who i trust will always be walking with me in this life.

He taught me how to forgive,
and taught me how to accept.
He taught me how to love,
and taught me how to listen.

He taught me all the things, that have made me who I am today.
& i will never go back to before.
... .. ..
My life is in his hands,
and i trust him with all my heart

And i miss you '

Love Quotes of The Day

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
-Joan Crawford
March 31, 2010

"Love is not altogether a delirium, yet it has many points in common therewith"

-Thomas Carlyle

March 30th 2010

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"Love wing'd my hopes and taught me how to fly."

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March 29th 2010

I wonder...

I wonder where you are everyday
I wonder why you dont walk this road with me
I wonder why all our memories are slowly fading, hard for me to remember

I wonder...

I know that things happen for a reason
I know that God has a plan for my life and there is a reason behind everything he does in my life
I know that anything is possible with God

So when i wonder sometimes...

I believe that God has the answers
I believe that there is hope
I believe that falling in life is away of being a stronger person

...I Believe that people leave for reasons, and it makes you a stronger person,
People change so that you can eventually learn how to let go,
Things fall apart, so that better things can fall together,
Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they are right

I have faith...

I have faith that the things and people who are ment to be in my life will always be here
I have faith that God will lead my in the direction iam called to go
I have faith that someday i will be given answers

I have Hope'

Healer; Hillsong

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe you're my healer
I believe you are all i need
I believe you're my portion
I believe you're more than enough for me
Jesus you're all i need

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold my world in your hands

I love him'

Sometimes, moments just hit you.
Ones that you can be so so thankful for, and at these moments you realize how blessed you are to have the things, and people in your life.

I never thought that i would love anyone so much.
I've also never felt this way before about anyone.
And words cant explain the feeling i get, not just one that ive had once, but an on going feeling everytime i see him, or am with him.

He gives me hope, in things ive lost hope in.
He believes in me and i believe in him.
He is someone that God has blessed me with, and i am so truly thankful.



I Love Him <3

God, please.

God, please as i sit here, i ask for you to open my eyes to things i have not seen before.
Open my eyes to things i would have never imagined experienceing.
Open my eyes to everything that you want for me.
Open my eyes to the things you want changed.

God, please, i want to live for you in everything i do, i want to walk this path with you. I want to be the person that you have planned for me.

So as i wait, ill keep my hope.
Give me some answers, please. Help me know myself better.

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"For every moment wasted wishing you would have done things differently,

is just more time wasted from experienceing life as it is now."

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Memories...

"Memories are the mental faculty of retaining and recalling past experiences."

Pictures built up in our minds that never leave us.

Memories are a way of holding onto the many things that we love, the person we are, the person we used to be and the things you never want to let go of.

We all have memories, but as the days go by.. the memories grow shorter.

At least the ones we used to know so well.

We begin to build more memories, newer memories, with different people in our lives and we may even be a different person ourselves.

The memories that we choose to remember forever, are the ones that feel as though they're the only thing we have left.

left of the past, but also left of that person.

Memories that feel so far away, but you wont ever let them go.

"Torn between the beauty of your memories, and the pain of remembering."

I'm just out to find, a better part of me... another part of me.

Today I'm taking a leap of faith'

"Sailing through life"

Where we stand in this life, isnt just the greatest thing in this world, as compared to what direction we are heading into and how we are getting there. Its not always easy, and nobody ever did promise that everything thrown at us will be easy, but to get to a place where you wish to be, you must sail, sometimes against the wind, but also sometimes with the wind, no matter what the waves in life may bring, you must sail through it. You must never give up, drift nor give up once the anchors in life are thrown down.

You cant ever change the direction of the wind, for it is something that you have to learn to live with. You can always change where your heading and how to get to your destination. You can adjust your sails.

Life brings storms in time's when we would be better off without.

But thats life and we all go through it.

Dont give up... Life is worth sailing through.

The storms in life dont have control over you, you have control over them.

Go the direction your heart tells you to go, and experience things in life that will change you.

Dont let the wind and the storms of life determine your direction.

"Getting through a bad day"

Sometimes even when your having a bad day,
the best way to get through it, is to be thankful for all the things you have, and all the people in your life.

We all have bad days, and its like there's no way out of them, like your trapped within a place that you dont understand how you got to. Just always remember theses quotes...

<3 "The will of god will never take you anywhere where the grace of God will not protect you"

<3 "There is no such thing in having a bad day that is so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. Also, Your best days are never so good that you're beyond the need of God's grace."

<3 "The winds of grace are always blowing; all we need to do is raise our sails"

Passing by

Sometimes moments pass us by, that leave us stunned, in shock and alone.
But those moments are sometimes the only ones we have.
And theres nothing we can do about it, but to just try to understand them.

Like people that pass us by in our lives, they leave us stunned, in shock and alone.
Sometiems those are the moments, the people who help us move on, show us that moving on is possible and its not something that people think is so hard if you just accept it.

Moments and people that pass us by, are like vehicles on a highway you see them as they are on there way to where ever there headed, and your left there searching for something on your own, your left there riding these roads, streets and highways alone trying to find a place where things are real.

We cant always understand why things happen, but theres a little thing called faith, and believing that maybe all things work out to be how they are meant to be, and if they werent then God would be here to lead us in the right path.

...ibeleiveinyouhavefaithandhopeforyou...

"Little Girl"

Little girl opens her eyes, looks up and puts that fake smile upon her precious face.

Nobody ever knows how she feels, no body ever knows what she sees.

This little girl takes things and puts them into her own perspective.

Nobody ever knows what she thinks when she looks at the world around her.

Nobody ever knows how she feels when shes hurt or blessed.

Little girl closes her eyes, trys to find something within her to explain it all.

but still...

Nobody ever knows what the silence feels to her.

Nobody ever knows how the distance cuts her up inside.

Little girl reaches out her hands, trying to reach something that feels so far away.

She reaches out and trys to grab a hold of that one thing giving her hope.

the vage memories of the girl she used to be, or the thoughts about the girl she wants to be.

Little girl, well, shes not a little girl anymore.

And

Nobody can ever tell her she isnt worth anything.

Nobody can ever tell her that shes gone to far and cant reach the light no more.

Nobody can ever tell her that she isnt beautiful because she is.

Nobody can ever tell her that she doesnt have the strength to be someone she believes in.

She pulls her head up, and opens her eyes.

This time, she puts a real smile on her face, not one thats being forced,

and she believes that everything has happened for a reason.

She believes that people actually care, and people actually love her.

She believes that holding onto that hope that keeps her going is something beautiful.

She wont ever let that go.

"fears.

If you were trapped in your worst nightmeres, your biggest fears, what would you do?

Would you try to escape them to freedom and to the light, or would you give up and die within your own made up stories.

We all have fears and we all have nightmeres, some feel more real than others, and some keep you questioning. The thing is when you do have those fears, mostly hidden within you, do you actually try to conquer them, try to escape them or do you give up and die within them, stories that you have made up.

Your own fears are all fears that you have made up because usually something in your past has made them fears to you. Things that you are scared of.

You need to let them go, the fears that we hold inside are the things that are holding us back from living life, from moving on.

So try to escape to freedom and light, dont hold back, give up and die within your own made up stories and fears that keep you from moving on in life.

Look for the light when everything around you feels dark.

Expectations.

There comes a point in your life when you realize that moving on is the answer.

Moving on from who you are, setting yourself a goal of who it is that you want to be.

Its hard sometimes trying to figure that person out, because every place your in, every room your in, the people you are around, they all want you to be someone, they all have someone in mind that you could be, they all have expectations for you, but you just want to be yourself.

They all have places for you to go, people for you to meet, and things for you to do, but all you want is to go somewhere for yourself, meet people on your own and do things for you, not always for other people.

All these expectations from people around you, from this world make things feel like time is running out, like you have to meet all of these expectations.

Why cant we be left to make our own expectations sometimes, maybe thats something we need, because at least when we are finished we know that we have accomplished something for ourselves sometimes.

"You"

I never knew you or who you were, and i am sorry that i didnt ever take those chances to get to know you. When you think you have all the time in the world to get to know someone do you ever think that maybe your underestimating the whole thing.

Now your gone, and i can only hope and pray that i wont ever make that mistake again. Your life was taken away, and you spent so many years fighting for another chance, another day, another month or year, and i am sorry i was never there.
Im sorry i never did let you in, and that i never did get to know you.

Though i never knew you, i new you always had a smile on your face, one that made problems go away because you were someone fighting for so long you gave people hope, because you kept that smile on your face, it gave me hope.

You made me open my eyes to see there are people in this world who have it worse then me, and yet i worry, worry about the littlest things. When you showed everyone that you were thankful no matter what every single day with that smile of yours and your bright eyes, the fact that you never gave up, even though you had to fight every single day, weither they were small or big struggles at a time you never gave up.

In my eyes you are a hero, you made me look at things differently, and let me realize that taking things for granteed is not how things should be. Though your gone now, i know you are in a better place.

Thank you for making things in my life meen so much more to me, thank you for teaching me the right way to look at life.

Forgive me, for never knowing who you were.

'RIP'

'i believe in you'

We have all made mistakes in this life of ours, and we have all probably wanted to give up at some points, but life is about taking your mistakes and making things right, forgiving.
God died on the cross for us, so that we may be forgiven so that we may be given other chances, he put his life on the line so that we may have life.

WE are forgiven every time we make a mistake, or fall into something un godly, he forgives us within seconds of it happening.

We shouldnt take this for granteed though, accept it and move on, and try to be a better person, learn from your mistakes so they dont happen again.

But always remember, you are forgiven.
By his grace and love we are set free.

Work i have done for my sketchbook'

"To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path,

and dont worry about the darkness, for that is when the

stars shine brightest."

A rose that has fallen out of the vaus in water.

Looking at a picture and then drawing exactly what i see

"An Object Melting"

"Hands holding flowers with 2 doves"

"An ice cream cone melting"

"Word art- lyrics"

"A hand with a different design around it"

"An eye with different colors and shapes"

the world around us..

I used to know the girl who looked into the mirror, but than again i used to know you too.
I guess things slip away and memory fades unexpected if you realize it or not, and the only thing thats keeping you going is the thought of all the people in this world who dont even get the chance to be themselves, or learn what life is about.

Instead they are slowly dieing, while we all complain and regret our lives. Theres people in this world who dont even get the chance to love, feel, or know their family, when we sometimes push them away and take things for granted way to easily.

We are all sitting around waiting for things to happen. There are people in this world who dont have any more time to just wait. We all say regretful words to people we love, but what if your that one person whos loved one dies seconds, minutes or hours after you say those heartless and painful words.

We take things for granted way to much. And you have to realize you cant take things back.
There are people in this world who dont have second chances, to be someone better than who they have been, who are dieing right before our eyes, and we just watch or ignore the things we try not to see. The things most of us are afraid of. Tut thats not the answer.

We need to look at life differently starting with thinking about all the people in the world who are falling apart, fighting everyday, or slowly dieing, and we are out here worried about things that dont even matter.

'waiting for you.

I've been sitting here for years now, thinkin im better off without you.
I know there's got to be more to me than you..

I guess im just trying to find myself, but with you gone.. and im here thinkin it through,
it feels close to impossible. Close to nothing.

All the days that go by and past us, we cant ever relive.
All the days your not here...
You cant ever take back. You cant relive it.

But you could start now.

Sincerely,

your girl just waiting.. waiting for you'

No matter how dark it gets, there is a light.

When you walk out the door into this silent world, but yet you know exactly what it thinks of you.

The feeling of not being wanted, the feeling of being afraid to walk out that door, the feeling of curiosity.



Your just trying to find security, but when you walk out that door into this world, a world that shapes who you are every single day if you know it or not. It feels like your alone. No matter how much you have it all doesnt matter because its who you are that determines what you do have.



This world can be so tough sometimes, it can take you off your feet and lead you down a path that isnt good enough for you. You see theres better things out there for you, then where you are right now.

Dont give up on life.



There will come times of regret, suffering, and trying to put the puzzle peices together.

but to give up on that, just shows how much your afraid to actually move on.

Dont let the broken heart, the lies, the friends who stab you in the back, the people who tell you things you dont want to hear, the bad news, the nightmeres, the failures, the person you have been, shape who you are. dont let them keep you from moving on, because its possible.



The world around you will try to do anything just to keep you from moving forward but instead taking your feet out from under you, and watching you fall. watching you fail and watching your heart break everytime you think theres no way out.



There is a way out.,

There is a light at the end of a dark tunnel. Its your choice to walk out of it.

There is a hope for the hopeless.



there is healing for the hurt.

There are answers for your questions.



Just beacause you fall once, or you fall twice, or even more times than you can count, does not mean its the end for you.

There is so much more for you out in this world. Dont let this world shape who you are. shape yourself .

Because sometimes all the world does is tear you down.



so you put all these walls up, gaurding your heart from being broken or from letting anything close to you.

but the world cant tear you down if you show it who you are, if you stay strong and dont give up.



It can be a cold place sometimes, but dont let that destract you from being yourself or from being the person you want to be, you can change no matter how much youve been struggling in this world.

you can change.



There are answers, and there is a hope.



Dont just give up becase you have already fallen.

Get back up and show the world that nothing can tear you down.



keep your hope, no matter how dark it gets somtimes, there is a light.

Dont give up and let all your hopes and dreams all fall right in front of your face.



Dont let the world hold you... You stand up and hold your own world.

i wish you could just see.

& i just miss you.
its hard going through everyday wondering where you are, and if you even care.. cuz you dont act like you care at all.

i wish i just new the answers, but you dont seem to want to give me any.
i wish you could look at me, and know the pain im feeling, but we dont even see each other.

i wish we could go back,
or start over.
anything but what has happened now.

im just a girl trying to figure these questions out, find some answers and understand why.
it feels as though nothing makes sence anymore.

i wish you could just open your eyes to notice this distance between us,
its done nothing but making us strangers.

i wish you could just see.

letting go'

sometimes letting go is the best thing.

holding onto something or someone for so long, your gunna have to realize sometime that its time to let go.

if they are now a part of your past, and just your past,.. well then you cant fully move on if your still holding onto that one thing, it just keeps you from moving forward.

letting go isnt the easiest thing to do, because we all fear of losing.
But sometimes, 'losing' is the only thing that will get us a win in life.

we all know that somethings and people in our life, well arnt the missing peice of the puzzle that you need.
Sometimes in life its best to just let them go, and try to look for that peice that fits just right, instead of one on the side of the page that has no spot.

the truth is, its not easy, letting go,
but its not always easy to hold on either.

figuring me out'

I'm searching to find out who i am.

It gets tough sometimes, because things are takin away from me, and out of my life and it leaves me questioning a million things.

Like maybe im not supposed to be where i am at right now, and maybe its a sign from God, or a test.

I want to figure me out.

I want to live for God everyday, and i want him to show me who i am supposed to be, who he wants me to be.

Im just trying to figure things out.
trying to figure me out.

I need your help'

A twisted lie'

It's been a while sence i have seen your face.
It's been a while sence i have heard your voice.

It's been a while sence i have seen you laugh,
or smile at all.

i can't even remember the last time it was, when you said everything was going to be okay.

So this is how it always goes...

I see you once for a long time...
You always say things are going to be different.
Things are going to change.
Im going to prove that to you.

A week goes by...
no phone call, no sign of you careing.

A month goes by...
The same silence is all around me.

Add some more months to the last one, and look what we've got.
me writing about how things havnt changed one bit.


You said that you were going to prove it to me, and that this year was going to be different.

I guess it was just one twisted lie.
that made me believe for a bit...
until you did prove something to me...

maybe we are better off this way?
or maybe someday you will change?

I guess its not up to me, but its your decision to make...

you just leave me sitting here waiting for that one msg to know everything is okay...
but im done waiting.

Let me know when you decide to be in my life again. '
Because the last time i heard,
things were going to be different.

reality is... things havnt changed'

Whats it going to be, wait for a year to go by, like the last time?

I want to be'

I want to be, all that you want me to be.
I want to do the things, you have planned for me to do.

Today, i want to be more like you.
Every single day, i want to be more like you.

I want to learn from you.
I want to carry you with me every day of my life.

I dont want to hurt you.
I dont want to fall away from you.

I dont want to lose you.
I dont want to forget this.

I dont want to let this go.

I want you to be my whole life.

Hold on its gunna be alright.

Everybody says that your not alone'

Because someone else in the world out there is going through some of the exact same things as you.

Even though they may be going through the same things as you, it completely exludes the fact that there no where near you.

So arnt you alone?

Its not like a moment will go by and that stranger who is said out to be going through the same feelings as you, can just appear beside you. Its not like they are there to catch you when you fall. OR how they arnt there to make you feel like your not alone.

Because it feels like you are.

Yes there are people in this world who are going through the same things as you, and they may not be here to help you through it, but youd both have the same questions, and you need someone else to help you answer them.

If they are going through the same things as you, how are they supposed to know the answers?

they wont, because they are trying to figure things out too.

This doesnt mean your alone though..

Look onto him, our god in heaven who never EVER leaves our side.

We arnt alone.

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfulls the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them"

Psalm 145: 18-19

He never leaves us no matter how many times we fall away from him, he always forgives us.

He always picks us up before we hit rock bottom when we do start to fall.

Its him who will never make you feel alone, if you hold on ,

it will be alright.

He will guide you.

He will show you the light in the dark,

he will mend the broken hearted,

heal the hurt,

give hope to the hopeless,

and save the lost.

Dont let go of him,

Hold on, its gunna be alright.

His love will never fade, we are never alone.

Your here for a reason'

I believe that everything happens for a reason..
No matter how tough life may be right now if it is... its all happening for a reason.

God has a plan for it all.
He has a plan for your life.

You've got to believe that with him anything is possible. And if your falling in life things will end up falling together because there is a reason behind it all.

Your here today for a reason.. and we may not know what that reason is yet. But someday you will understand.
God has a plan for everones life but you have to let him in.