It was an ordinary day at my cottage in Greyvanhurst summer of 2009. I could smell the warm breeze from the wind through my window, and feel the sun as it covered me. I never thought that anything so dreadful could happen to my family and me. When something like this happens, you can't just push it aside and instantly expect to let it go. In fact, is something like this ever accepted and let go?
There were only a few seconds, if any at all, for me to react to this severe situation. The only impulse was from my heart. I could barely function right, my palms were sweaty and it felt as though my heart was exploding in fear. It was being ripped like an old pair of jeans, right out of my chest. I could no longer feel the sun shining, or smell the warm breeze; at this moment i couldn't feel anything but the painful ache in my chest.
I was watching T.V upstairs with my sister. To get downstairs you have to walk over a ramp and down a little old cement path to the main door from the outside. I heard my grandma screaming, and the worry in her voice frightened me, but prepared me from understanding that something abhorrent had become reality. At this moment my heart sank in my chest, as if i were surrounded by a pool of sinking sand. The loud beating made it even more apparent that this was it. The moment i ran into that old heavy door was the moment something was about to dramatically change. Running to the main part of my cottage, where my grandma's screaming was coming from, I didn't fully uunderstand what exactly had happened. It was'nt until my grandma directed me to my old room going at a fast pace when i could understand why she was so shaken up. Instantly i told my grandma to call 911! I could feel the turning of my stomach like a rollercoaster going upside down. It was abominable!
He was laying there, crammed between the bed and dreser. He looked as though no life was left in him, as if his soul had left and all that was grounded was his fragile body.
Lying there was my grandpa. A man who was like a father to me. Emotions were thrown around in my head, like card in a deck being shuffled. Helplessly shaking, I stood there; we had to lure him out from that limited space that he was in. My gandma and i arranged his body to be lying on his back; we quickly got pillows to rest his head on, while my sister ran to the neighbours. I was terrified, and panicking. The lady on the 911 call told me to listen or feel for a heartbeat. The only thing i could hear was my relentless breathing, and the only thing i could feel, was the sweat from my hands and my face beginning to heat up.
There was nothing, not one single sign of a heartbeat. My eyes watered, like a heavy waterfall of tears just waiting to burst. I placed my hands on his. There was nothing that i could do. I felt like a little kid trying to tie their own show for the very first time, or the first time saying the ABC's, confused and helpless to the situation. My hands were sweaty but that didn't keep me from taking them off his, I was praying to God that he would wake up, but this was reality, seeing his body lying there broke me. The Paramedics came and immediately told my grandma, sister and I to clear out so they could have room to help my grandpa.
Minutes went by, my heart was beating extremely fast, and exiguous words were said. Only the look on our faces could prove how our hearts felt. We wanted nothing more but for the Paramedics to come out and say "he's going to be alrigh", or "we got here right on time". The door opened, i could see the shadow of the paramedic as he slipped outside. The look on his face was confusing to understand, until he began to get closer. His words were, "I'm te... and right there i knew it was bad, "I'm terribly sorry, but he did not make it". The paramedic declared. I felt like a bowling pin in a bowling alley, being the first pin hit by this abstruse bowling ball aimed promptly at me. My world instantly shattered, my head was so abundant of questions that I could not answer, and my heart was exclusively broken. I couldn't believe it; something in me just wouldn't accept the fact that he was really gone. The truth is it was my world now, it was reality, and i couldn't change what had happened.
A man who was a father to me, he taught me that giving up on anything in life was not crucial and that you can push through it. He taught me how to build a barbeque piece by piece, and how to paint an awesome picture. He taught me that life is so much more than the things that bring us down. That when we come across dark places in our lives, it is possible to find the light, and get out. Also, the storms in life will always come to pass. It's never too late to start over and change. As a person I have learned that this life is just a passing place until eternity.
I've accepted that he is gone. And i believe that he is in a superior place. He may not be here on earth with me, but he's always gonig to be in my heart. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and though we might not know the reason, someday it's all going to make sense. No matter how tough life may be, everything will end up being alright.