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Friday, February 27, 2009

Goodbye

I dont know what hurts the most; saying goodbye to someone realizing that there not comeing back, or not even getting the chance to say goodbye to them. Ive been through both, where i have had the chance to say goodbye, but just letting them go as they walk out of your life, and ive also been to that place where you dont even get a chance to have your goodbyes, where there just gone. And you have no idea when they may come back, or if they even will.

Its hard sometimes, i meen sometimes we try to avoid the truth, keeping us diss-illusiond with what is put out right in front of us, weither its, ' that person is leaving' or its ' that person has already left ' .

Has someone ever left your life all of a sudden but yet a part of you is still holding on?
Have you ever said your goodbye, and then after having that person leave, you start to realize how much you need them in your life.
and lastly ,
Have you ever missed out on that one goodbye that meant forever.
that one goodbye that would meen so much, if you could just look into that persons eyes again, and realize that nothing is ever determined in this life.

Where things change, people change all the time, and our hearts change too.
I guess we all just need to stop and take a look and realize what "Goodbye" really means.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

forgiveness;

Forgivness is such a simple word, but it is so hard to do , when youve been hurt.
thats so true,
if you think about it, if you have been hurt by someone, eccepting that youve been hurt is one thing, but trying to forgive the person, thats another thing, and its the one thing that causes heart ache.

we have all probably been hurt in the past, some of you may even be hurting right now, and when forgivness runs through your head, its the one thing you struggle to do as much as you want to, its just really hard.

im sure as much as its hard to admit, but we have all probably hurt someone in the past, maybe not even knowing it, or having any control over it, or maybe you knew you hurt the person, you just didnt know what the out comes were.

but forgiving is really hard.
forgiving yourself for holding onto all the stuff in this world that have been hurting you, and forgiving yourself for not letting go and forgiving the ones that have hurt you , or the ones you have hurt.

i guess forgivness starts with letting go.
but not entirely letting go of the person, just lettting go enough to forgive them.
forgiving the ones who have hurt you, is the best thing you can do, i meen think of all the ones you havnt forgave, how do you feel right now,
where has it got you, no where really?
because having a part of you hold onto them, is just bringing the memory of them hurting you again, which just causes heart ache.

maybe its just time for you to forgive them?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

trying to forget someone you loved'

I think that trying to forget someone you loved, is really like trying to remember someone you never knew.

I think somewhere inside our hearts, burried under the pain, a part of us still holds on to them, and just never builds the strength to let them go.

see all the people we never knew or dont know, are complete strangers to us, and trying to forget someone you once loved, is exactly like trying to remember someone you never knew.
its all pretty much the same, because we are so afraid that if we forget someone we will really just lose them forever. But isnt that the idea, the moment you know that, that person shoouldnt be in your life, is the moment you want to forget them, and let go of them? maybe even lose them?

We have all probably been there, when were face to face with the question, are we whilling to hold on to them forever, or have we built the strength to let go of them, and forget.
Dont hold back when your heart knows what to do, and when that gut feeling inside tells you its time to leave them behind.

because sometimes holding on, can be the worst thing you could ever do in life,
maybe its about time you should let go.
and forget that one person, who has made you miserable inside.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

hurt'

you shouldnt focus on all the things in life that are hurting you, even when sometimes it feels like theres no way out, because hurt in this world is so big.
if you think about it, we have all probably hurt someone in the past, or even a matter of seconds, minutes, hours or days ago, weve all been there, wether or not we were the ones hurting inside from being hurt, or we were the ones hurting others.

why do we do it?
maybe were so dissillusiond in the fact that we actually are hurting someone, i meen we dont do it on purpose all the time, but when it is on purpose, its mostly because of rage, anger, jealiousy, hatred, denial, confusion, or even just the curiosity of what may happen as bad as it sounds, arnt those the things that create hurt in this world. we dont meen to, but some how we just do it.

but sometimes its not even about that, theres many other things in life that are out there, that may have hurt you, in the past, or might even hurt you in the future, its all just a test to make you stronger. things happen for reasons, but sometimes you just cant find the reasoning to things. i think that when people leave, well thats where alot of hurt builds up, and its sooo incrediably hard to just stop hurting.
after having someone you love leave, you may not realize it right away, but later on these roads in this life, you start to realize that you need that person again, and life just doesnt make sence with out them in it, i meen feeling unworthy, hated, stupid for even trying to make sence of it all, confused out of your mind, and scared that your never going to see that person again, it all just causes hurt, and we dont see it until we actually start to wonder and miss them.

its just so hard, you want to let go , and youve tried, but a part of you is still holding on because hidden under the pain and hurt, they have caused you, well you just still believe in them , and have faith for them , and hope for their heart to change, but tthings dont just go back to normal. and thats when you start to realize if they still love you, or even care about you, beacsuse sseeing them very few times, and not hearing from them for a long time.
no phone calls, no emails, no visiting, no nothing , no comunication.
so you ask yourself this ,..
can you please tell me, why i should beleive in you,
why should i still have faith and hope for you,
please just give me a reason why i can trust that you will stay and you wont go, or that i can trust that one day your heart is going to change and your going to come back,
because this pain and hurt and confusing , and broken road between us, seperating us, causing us to be apart and in so much hurt, is really really hard to live with.
and really, as hard as this is to say it , but my faith and hope for you is slightly dissapearing and im not sure how much longer i can handle it, is waiting for you really worth it?

after thinking all of that , you hesitate but pull the strength to say,
i wish someone could just save me, take me to a better place,
because this one that your in right now is so far from where you wish you could be.
just take me somewhere, somewhere else, so i can find the strength to actually have a reason why i should still beilieve in you,
and mostly have faith and hope for you, because who you have shown me to be , is nothing but complete stranger.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

looking back;

So have you ever looked at an old photo of yourself,
and just the question of who you were runs through your head,
but then as you take a good glance at this one photo, the question that starts to exist, is ' who am i today'

who are you?
how did you get this far, or how did you get to the place you are right now. and then you slowly,
with a little hesitation wonder,
if you hadnt had those bad days in your life so far, would you be where you are now and as strong as you are,
would you really appreciate the good days?

we all make mistakes, thats one thing that makes us stronger though, and gives us the power and strength to know we dont want to walk down those same roads that may already be familiar to us.
you know, they say that in order to go on in life well, and appreciate it for what its worth, enjoy it , and live each day as if it were your last, you have to be whilling to let go of your past, stop living in your past,
move on from it, and make this life of yours a new one,
one where the past doesnt exist for you know that it is gone , and your in the moment, and the future has yet to come,

dont hold back, dont give up, and live each day one at a time,
with the ones you love, and the ones you know will always be with you side my side as you walk these roads.

believe. have faith. and hope for yourself, the ones you love, and your future.