Sometimes in life we get scared , you know.
Scared to show who we really are with the fear of non exceptance.
Scared to meet knew people, because of being shy.
Scared to follow our dreams because of the fear of failing.
Scared to fall in love, with the fear of falling out of love.
Scared to take a step forward, because of the fear of moving on.
Scared to be infront of a huge crowd, because of the fear of humiliation.
Scared to show people what you really believe in, because the fear of being judged.
Scared to go out in public with no make-up on, because the fear of other people's oppinions.
Scared to accel in something with the fear of falling when more challenges come.
Scared to stand up for yourself, because the fear of not standing up enough.
Scared of holding onto someone or something like a dream because you know what its like to lose it.
Scared to let go of the past, because the fear of forgetting.
We are people who constantly live in fear, when really we dont need to.
Fear is just a word,
it doesnt have to be something real in your life.
Try not to be scared of things like these things. We only live once, and if we all live in fear for the rest of our lives, then we wont see the bright side of things.
Get rid of your fear,
and step forward.
Keep your faith&hope in the things you might be scared of.
Dont be so afraid. Its only life.
And life is only what you make it.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Dont be so afraid, its only life.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
..Nh' im keeping my hope and faith..
Everything happens for a reason, People change so you can learn to let go.
Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when there right,
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.
Some good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.
The ones you love that are always there for you, are the ones you know were put in your life for a reason, and the ones that you can always trust.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Casting Crowns
"Here I Go Again"
What are you so afraid of?
"For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind."
Dont let fear come into your life and destroy it,
Be strong through life, and try not to let fear be a big part in your life, infact keep it out.
It is not necessary.
think to yourself,
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall i fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whome shall i be afraid?
Psalm 27:1
Anything is possible in this life if you have him in yours.
Dont let things come between you, and your father in heaven, Dont let fear come between you and God.
The fear of being made fun of, the fear of being dissapointed, the fear of losing friends, the fear of learning the truth, the fear of lies, the fear of courage and taking big steps, and the fear of your future and what god has in store for you.
Instead, think.
"When i am afraid, i will trust in you. In God whose word i praise, in God i trust; i will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?"
Psalm 56:3-4
Instead of being afraid have faith.
What are you so afraid of?
Believe that he is with you, and he will guide you in life.
No matter where you are in life. He is always here.
God says,
"So do not fear, for i am with you; do not be dismayed, for i am your God. I will strengthen you, and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
What are you so afraid of?
take the fear out of your life, and have hope and faith.
Love your heavenly father with all your heart for he holds you up, and when your about to fall hes always there to pick you right back up, dont let fear discourage you, and make you believe that he isnt always there.
He is.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18
We all come to times in life when fear kicks in, but with the grace of God and his arms stretched out wide, he holds us in his hands, so do not fear because nothing is bigger than God, and he will be with you forever. Nothing can come at you in life that you cant get through, With him anything is possible.
<3
No matter how far we have grown apart, i believe there is hope. I miss you.
I love these girls, they are such amazing people and good friends, with them in this life i know i can make it <3
<3
My Family, without them, id be lost.
They help me find myself and know who i am.
They are always here for me no matter what happens in life.
I love them.
Life throws you curves and moments when you lose yourself,
but to have that one person who helps bring you back is such a blessing.
No matter how far we are from each other,
We will always be great friends,
A perfect picture isnt about what it looks like after,
its about the friendship and love thats in it.
I love this girls <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsln1AwYcB9dc4rJYfG1nnH9b-rQtxj_ycz20A7ru9YaCXvDoOU-i_AJ6JQ_fsDrnN3UxNA4BSLLKgyjiLC6fHb37m4fEFIeAcsrBBEI7a9-KYhpJRHocvoW-cfw8HIePYPwLVtflKhRk/s1600-h/021.JPG">
Memories like these will never fade.
No matter how much we change before we see each other again,
we will always be friends, i love these girls.
Life is too short,
forget about the things in life that have brought you down,
and look to your friends to help pick you up.
She helps me get through days that go by slow,
days that drag on, and days that make it hard to smile.
Shes always there for me.
Yes, Shes my other half. We are twins.
Without her, i dont know who i would be.
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No matter how many fights we have had,
arguments and dissapointments,
us two, we stick together, and we are always here for eachother.
Nothing that comes at us in this life can come between us,
because we can get through anything together.
Oh yeah, two is better than one<3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIbcBib5mWfX0U0LDPj8uWxylceVacKYhLHs8t9QcoWoyvXT5YIwe0FjEJi4CpOEAEZHQJTj5eAL2ridOKQvFOamffAnl44z2mh1Ri6qoWXtY1bu94iNHK4e46Y56aeFul_r1b6PGlElQ/s1600-h/041.JPG">
And ive never felt a love like this before.
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Monday, December 14, 2009
You know when you come to a moment in life when you know you need to change, and that there can be change out there for your life. You think to yourself, yeah i think i can change, it cant be to hard, cause you know what you want.
But then when you go to try to change someone else, everything falls.
Or when we try to change our past, thats when we realize that its a waste of time.
We cant change our past, we also cant change the fact that people will act in certain ways, we cant change the inevitable.
But is that a reason to give up?
Life is given to us, by the grace of god, and he never gave up. He doesnt give up on us either.
So what do we do? You know when we feel like change isnt even possible?
What you can do, is to live life on the one string you know you have, the one string that is holding you up in life, hope.
What is hope?
Hope is to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment, to have confidence, trust and desire.
Do you tend to lose hope sometimes? Kind of like when someone wont change, or someone let you down, or if you let yourself down. Do we lose hope in this life?
I believe we do come to points in life, where hope is still here, but we tend to forget. Or when our hearts just give up on what we believe and what is the burning desire in our hearts.
You know, we cant fail at anything in life if we dont try.
You cant change, if you dont try to change, and if your not whilling.
Just believe that hope will get you to a better place, no matter how long it takes.
God has a plan for everything, and he will give you answers if your whilling recieve them.
Dont wait on things to change, around you.
Make those changes yourself, and dont give up on your hope.
Nothing is impossible if you have God in your life. Seek him out. With him anything is possible.
Take the road in life that gives you hope, instead of taking the one road that takes hope away.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Papa Pete <3
Something ill never forget.
Someone who was so important in my life, and my families life had been taken out of our lives. It brought tears in all of our eyes, and questions of why he had to be taken away. But God has a plan for everything, and everyone. I guess it was his time to go and be with him.
My Grandpa. Papa Pete.
Id just like to share a little about him, he was an amazing person. Not like any other.
Everytime i went somewhere with him, he knew almost everyone. He was so friendly and he had a lot of friends.
Even though he had struggles in life, and pain, he didnt take things for granted. He lived life to the fullest i know he did.
He had such an amazing and loving heart to anyone. And when you were in a room with him, there was just that warm feeling of love. Something i miss so much.
His smile, it made things feel okay again, as if there was still hope no matter what.
He was an amazing person, and the best grandfather anyone could ever ask for.
When i was younger he used to always build and paint things with me, he showed me alot about life, and he showed me that no matter what life hands you or throws at you, not to give up. Papa Pete never gave up on anything, and anything he started he would always finish no matter what.
When i heard he was in the hospital months ago, my eyes filled with tears. I didnt know what was going to happen. But my grandfather was such a strong man. As he layed in the hospital fighting for so long, he never gave up. He brought a smile to his face when i saw him, and he wouldnt ever stop with his jokes! oh his jokes, they always made me laugh.
Then after a few months in the hospital, he was able to come home.
By then it was summer. And i always spend summers up at the cottage, a place to get away. And so my Grandpa was able to go up this summer as well. What did i say about him being strong.
My grandpa was such an inspiration to me, he was someone who showed me so much in life in everything he did. A great role model was what he was. Someone i looked up to. He showed me so much.
God was here through it all,
He allowed me to spend a summer with my grandpa, before he past away.
It was great to be with him during the summer. Memories i will never forget.
Papa Pete was the closest father figure to me that ive have in years.
He was such an amazing person and had a personality of gold. His heart was so loving and kind, open to anyone.
The way he cared about everyone, and tried to help.
I know that even though this had to happen. God has been here through it all, and he will always be here. I know that my grandpa is up there with him right now.
I just wanted to say some things about my Grandpa. Even though it was his time to go, he hasnt left my heart at all. And
Even thoough i just have memories of him, they are memories that i will never forget, they will always stay in my heart. My grandpa will always be in my heart.
He will always be someone i look up, and i want to be like him. He is my role model, someone who has shown me how to get through obsticles in life, someone who has taught me never to give up, and someone who has shown me to follow my dreams, and that there is hope, i just have to be strong.
Even though he cant be here with me today, one day we will see each other again. And the pain ive felt because he isnt here will dissappear.
I miss him so much, and i love him with all my heart.
Papa Pete your always going to be in my heart,
and your someone i will always look up to.
because of you, im not giving up' and im not losing my hope.
<3
Through anything in life, im always going to be here for you'
Friday, December 4, 2009
Sometimes in life, we think that holding on to something, or someone is what makes us stronger.
But what happens when holding on becomes an excuse of the fear of letting go?
There comes times when what makes us stronger is letting go.
The moment you realize that what you have been holding onto has been a lie, an over exaggerated belief that what you have been holding onto will change. Something or someone that has been a waste of time trying so hard not to let them go.
Or the moment you realize that your going to be alright with out that one thing you have been holding onto. And that is when you become stronger.
Letting go.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
And then you can think of someone that you love, or once loved and as they walk away, all you wonder now is where they are headed, or where they were called to be. And why they had to go, leaving you there glancing at the dark blue sky above.
As the sun gets pushed away from the grey clouds suddenly taking over, tears start to fall down your face as you realize that like a bird we are all designed to be something and someone, and that not everyone that comes into our lives always stay. Because like a bird, you can glance up and see it, but then a second goes by and it is off to where it is called to be. For a moment you can have everything and everyone you need in your life, and then a second flys by and suddenly what you once had has dissapeared, vanished and is something you can no longer call yours, except for the vague memories you have left.
People always leave, and what was once said is that you dont realize or apreciate the things you have in life, until they are gone. Sometimes we substitute "things" to people. Where we dont appreciate the ones who are in our lives, until we no longer have them in our lives. Until the moment comes when we cant call them mine, or ours.
And right then, as the clouds cover the sun completely, and rain starts to fall, until the tears rolling down your face are no longer visible, where it just looks like the rain falling. And the rain reminds you of all the times that you have fallen, and lost the ones you loved through disasters, keeping you from getting back up, it reminds you of all the times you have burried yourself in memories and thoughts of the past and the people who used to be in it, that are no longer
in your lives today. Its like on a dark day where the sun isnt shining anymore, all the rain brings is doubt, pain, shame of holding onto the things you know are gone.
But when it does rain, why not think of it as a chance to get back up, like when the rain falls and blends in with the tears, and resembles the times when you have fallen or are falling, and cant find that strength to pick yourself up and get back up. Why not let the rain take a whole other meaning, like another chance to pick yourself up from the hole you have fallen into, and the thought of knowing that the rain cant keep you down, and the tears that you have cried can no longer blend with the rain because your not giving up this time, and there isnt going to be any tears,
because instead of falling with the rain. You are having the desire to bring yourself back to life. And having the belief that even though like a bird that can be gone within a second, not everything in your life vanishes, or is taken away.
Because there is hope for alot of things in this life if you believe it, and take it in with every breath. And having that faith that not everything falls like the rain, and not everything dissapears like a bird soaring above the sky, but things and people have hope in getting back up even if they have been through a storm, and have seen the light change to darkness. Anything is possible.
You just have to Believe that there is Hope, because there is. Just dont lose your Faith.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Reasons why i love him <3
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But for this post i am going to write about someone who means the world to me, someone who has shown me alot of things about life and who has made a huge difference in my life, someone who i can trust with my whole heart. Someone i believe god put in my life for a reason, and i am so thankful for that. I couldnt ever be happier.
His name is Cody, we have been dateing for over 9 months and it will be 10 months soon when novemember comes around : ) He is an amazing guy, and has an amazing personality and such a careing and loving heart. He sees me for who i am and not someone im not, i can be myself around him. He is going to make such a big difference in this world someday i know he is, and he already has in my life.
I love him so much,
Not only is he my boyfriend but he is my bestfriend, i can tell him anything and i can trust him. And he is always there for me in good and bad times, if im going through somethings he is always right there to help me through it and tell me not to give up. He really does put a smile on my face, even if its the last thing i want to do. His love helps remind me that good things no matter what are still possible. And to always believe that anything is possible. He brings the best out of me, and brightens up my life with his love. His love has helped me to rediscover myself and who iam, because at some points we all lose ourselves and forget who we were. He helped me be who i am and not someone else. Cody is such an amazing guy, and he isnt like any other guy. When im with him, it feels like nothing else matters except for the moment spent in each others arms.
He has the most careing heart, and even when i am really really grumpy he still likes me = ) Everytime i think of him i find myself smiling. Every moment spent with him is so incredible, and i love every second of it.
.. our tickle wars, and rock paper scissor wars.... i love it how i win everytime and he is always in denial. Its cute = )
I cant explain the feelign i get when im with him, its like for once things actually make sence, and nothing can come between us. I feel liek when im with him anythign is possible, like i can do anything. He fills my life with joy and happiness. Every moment we spend together i always treasure and i will never forget. there always times worth remembering. All the times when we have serious coversations and then one second goes by and we are laughing about something totally different, it usually starts with a tickle war. God put him in my life for a reason and it filled my life with such an amazing joy. I am so thankful to have him in my life and i thank God everyday.
He means everything to me, and he is my anchor in lifes ocean, and most of all my best friend! He has seen me with no make up on, and he still loves me.
i am so blessed.
There are endless reasons why i love him but those are some reasons.
He means everything to me,
and he has made such an incredible difference in my life. And i know one day he is going to make a big difference in alot of peoples lives, i really believe that.
I love him so much <3
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Maybe beyond everything; the real answer is to stop running"
Truth...
It still exists, it really does. You just have to believe that you know. Even though you come to points in your life, where truth can be so so cold, and dark, and a feeling youve never felt before. Maybe even more painful than you have ever imagined in your whole entire life. Where you have been faced with lies, and yet you learn to live with them, but when you are faced with the truth that may be even more cruel than any lie out there, its really hard to understand the difference between them. And you just want to run away and leave this place.
Theres always those times that we end up at, when we want to choose a different path, where we want to lead and lean towards a different direction because we are sick of the same thing over and over again. Where we just want to get up and go. At this moment you have to make choices, if you are going to let everyone define who you are before you even have the chance to figure that out for your self. See each day we are given choices, a whole lot of choices, but two very importan ones are, are you going to get up and move forward today, or are you going to simply give up?
After a while we tend to just give up, because we realize that its the same thing over and over again. Weither its the lies that we face, the truth that is always there and said to be the truth but ends up lost. When we just want out you know, because you feel as if nothing is going to change. When all you really want and wish for, is for that simple change that you know can happen but it feels so far away.
So this is why you want to start over and leave, for one moment to a place where you dont know anyone and no body knows you, or who you have been, where suddenly you can figure out who you really are and who you want to actually be for once. Because you have been living so long, being the person that everyone else knows you as, the person they defined you as. Someone youjsut cant be anymore. Someone your actually running from. Sometimes because of how other people have labled you its really hard to figure out who you are, but because its only when you are tested when you truley discover who you are. and when you can discover who you want to be and who you can be. Just because each day we are labeled and defined as something that is completely oposite doesnt mean the person you want to be is to far to reach and doesnt exist because it does. Somewhere , out there, in your faith and hope and belief that beyond your heartach and the fear that you feel that life has who you can be and want to be does exist.
Sometimes it takes a leap of faith to show people who that is, because you may be hiding under that mask , that label, that people have defined you as.
So just stop running,
When you do want to get up and go , because you feel it is the same thing over and over again and you just want to start over, why not right here, in the same place your at? Just dont except what they define you as, change who you are for you. and show everyone that who you can be and want to be does exist. Then maybe they will learn the truth you know, and not the hard truth, because all your doing is showing them who you really are, and maybe they will learn to do the same.
There is going to come times when every solution you can think of consist of getting away.
When you just want to get up and go, but maybe beyond that, the real answer is to just stop running.
Stop running from all the lies, or the hurtful truth, stop running from the person you have been, or the person others define you as, and stop running from always being in the same place every single day, just for once stop running, and take each day at a time because in life we will come to crossroads and we may not have a map, or a destination to go to so we tend to just turn around and go back, but instead of running away from our fears, and our past, we just have to live with it and move forward each day.
And believe that running isnt the solution but taking the steps to a new direction is a new beginning.
Monday, September 28, 2009
"Desire"
Have you ever had the desire to do something?
you know, that feeling you get when your heart is calling you to be something different for one moment of your life, to actually step out of that comfort zone youve been living in for so long.
The moment you get that feeling where you feel that maybe if you take that simple desire to do something and put it into reality than maybe you can escape the place your in right now, cause deep down you know theres a better place for you. You just havnt found it yet. And maybe its killding you inside, you just want out, you feel like your stuck in a place or a frozen moment that just leaves you wishing for something different.
Its like when youve been somewhere for so long that it has actually shaped your life, it has made you the person you are right now. But you just want something different sometimes. You see we can go on in life wishing for things we dont feel as if we can reach but does that shape our lives in any way? We can go on in life wishing we were somewhere else, or someone else but how does that change the picture now?
It doesnt. When you have the desire to do something why do we always second guess it, as if theres something maybe better out there? Desire is a sence of longing and hoping you know, the hope for something else. The desire to be something better than who you may have been. Desire gives us a reason to pick our selves back up after we fall, and to lead our life in the direction we want it to go.
Dont hold back on anything in life, if you have a desire to do something than fufill it with all you have. Make that desire a part of your life, a part of who you are. Chase after your dreams and dont hold back from anything, because that will get you know where. Keep strong and fight for what your heart is calling you to do and be. Dont hide that desire, or push it away as if it never existed because the truth is it has and its up to you to pick your self back up everytime you fall.
Dont give up on the things you love, desire and hope for because sometimes they only come around once.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Remembering'
You know, you can look at a photo of someone and you always remember who they were. You remember everything about them as if they are still here, but yet you know that they are gone.
What happens when you start to realize that. You know, that they are gone all over again, or what happens when you look at that picture and you know them soo well, but then you jump back into reality and your not only looking at someone you know, but now its as if you dont know them at all. What then?
Is it like none of the memories ever mattered? Is it like whats the point of trying to remember them when they have changed so much and you cant ever go back to how it used to be. You know? Or is it like having that one fear, of loosing the memory of who they were because your trying so hard to remember every single memory spent with them.
Its like when you do look at a photo of someone that you have now created a huge amount of distance between to the point where you dont know them at all you start really remember who they really used to be, and then you start to wonder how can someone change so dramatically where its like they are no longer in your life.
Why do these things happen?
Where you look at one photo and you really start to hurt, because you want nothing more than to always remember that person you know. Like if theres any fear in the whole world, your so scared of losing who that person was and all the memories, because you start to think that the memories are really all you have left of that person.
It sucks.
To have someone still in this life and yet you grow so far from them, and you dont know them anymore.
The person in that one photo probably just lives right down the road from you, someone you used to be so close to, someone you knew so well, there still around you just dont know them anymore but how come?
why stop knowing someone?
I dont get it at all.
Is it the effort in trying too, or what is it? Because to me its just pathetic. I look at alot of photo's and i remember who they were so well, but then i think and i have no idea who that person is now, and it really sucks.
Its like a part of you is missing.
One photo can have so much memory in it, but why not keep making the memories? I meen why stop? I think that we have all grown apart for someone, but if you really miss them, you have to make an effort to trying to get to know that person again, or all you are going to really have are memories of them and sooner or later those memories will probably fade.
Dont miss out on knowing someone you used to know so well, because then what was the point of knowing them rihgt? i meene youll have the memories and the photos, but why does that ever have to end?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Things happen for reasons'
Its crazy how within an hour everything can change. Where 60 minutes ago everything was so great and you sit there thanking God for what he has done in your life, and then an hour goes by, and suddenly what was is now gone. Everything is different in a matter of 60 minutes, and it changes your life forever.
Things are no longer the same, because that one person is gone.
And you start to question alot of things, because its like there is no answers, like your lost and confused and you just dont understand how something can change like that.
Where everything can be going so so right, too feeling broken, and hurt, and you just cant understand it at all.
Its hard to let someone go you know, but when your given just that and you cant do anything about it, i guess you just have to learn too. But not to the point where you will forget them cuz thats all you have left, are the memories because there gone. So you hold onto those, there the only thing left. Trategies happen all the time, but when your heart breaks you have to fight like crazy. And the pain you feel.. its to remind you that things will be okay, and theres something out there that will make everything alright. And that the pain and hurt will be replaced with happiness and that its worth fighting for.
Its just hard you know, to be given no choice at all, but to let that person go. Its hard.
All the questions that you have and some that cant be answered now.
Its hard,
how do you deal with losing someone you love?
I wish i could answer that question.
But i dont think i can. I mean if you just have faith , and hope that things will be okay, then that could make things better.
But what happens if its like a part of you is missing, now that their gone.
Because they meant so much to you. More than they will ever know.
What then?
How do you go on and believe things will be okay when you feel so far from that feeling, the feeling of everything is okay. you know.
I guess somethings cant be answered.
But maybe if you believe that things happen for reasons, you can get that belief that things will be okay, because it all happend for a reason.
Through Someone else's eyes'
Im sure we've all pictured out life through someone else's eyes. Just trying to find that one place where we think we belong, other than in our own eyes you know. Because all you see through your own eyes are people who are hurting or the ones who have hurt you. All you see in pain and suffering from wasting your time regreting the past itself. And you just want to escape from it all. You see people putting on masks to disguise them selves everyday. People who lie to just make it through the day. You see people who are lonely, and just want to know that someone cares. And everyday you face the same questions over and over again.
Then we start to picture our whole entire life through someone else's eyes, because maybe just maybe things will be different and we can find the answers we are looking for. So you open your eyes, pretending their our own eyes when really there someone else's, but you start to notice that everything is the same, you see the same hurt, the same pain, the same lies, and the same questions, and the same suffering. You realize that your not the only one who maybe hurting, or maybe seeing all of the hurt and pain, and suffering around you. So why not do something about it? insteead of trying to put your life in someone else's shoes where you see the same hurt and pain, why not do something to help it?
Some people you know the ones you try to picture your life through their eyes, they just wear a mask, and disguise themselves. And ignore what is really happening in this world. Not even trying to help it. So you go about believing that you want their life because maybe there is no hurt or pain? when really thats a visaud. Because there is hurt and pain and suffering every where. And everyone expeiriences it.
The truth is we all hurt even though some of us hide it better then others. We all fear, we all fall, and we all have a million questions with answers that seem so far away..
Life is meant to find the answers as we grow as a person. No body has al the answers right off the bat, i mean who are we kidding whats the point if we did have all the answers? You just have to fight like hell to find them. So stop wasteing your life away picturing yourself through someone else's eyes.
Just open yours!!
Realize that no matter who you are things are going to be okay because there is a little thing called faith, and hope and if your whilling too you can change. But change for yourself, not to be someone else. Just open your eyes and accept you for you. Dont search for something out of reach. Follow your own dreams not someone else's. And maybe the hurt, the pain, the suffering, the ones who are lonely, who are broken, and lost can be found and can be helped, if you take the time to make things change. instead of trying to be someone your not, and wasteing your time looking at the world and the people who are broken and lost and hurt and are lonely and have nothing. Maybe we can help that.
Just open your own eyes.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Why does the truth sometimes feel so far away'
Every single day we face the same truth. Do we all know what truth is? Its sometimes hard to understand it, because we get so caught up in whats really just lies.
The truth is considered to be the supreme reality, and to have the meaning and value of existance. But why is it that sometimes we get so far from the value of existance or in other words just the plain old truth.
We may face the same truth everyday of our lives. Truth that you have to figure out on your own, kind of like asking yourself, do you live your life in denial, regret, is it all based on sayings and cliches? Where all these sayings express your feelings? Or are they just empty words that meen nothing to your life. Or where the people you hangout with, you later start to become. Maybe even someone you never wanted to be you know. Its like the truth sometimes gets so far away, that when we try to reach it, we fall. I dont know, maybe im off here, but this is how i think of this all.
Truth isnt always knowing whats right compared to whats wrong, the truth well it exists, but how do we always find it when it sometimes drifts away? Like when we drift away from the truth. Our own truth. The one we know so well.
Its always going to be hard to get back, because you have to know whats the truth and what may be the lies.
Why is there even the fake truth, or lies in this world? I meen does it benifett our lives in anyway? Does it show us who we are, or is it like that voice inside your head telling you your something your not, but yet your comfortable with it. Is it all like that?
What is the meaning of a false identity, or just all the lies that we may face in this life? What is its real meaning?
I lie is like a false statement made with dileberate intent to decieve, an intentional untruth.
Words that only push you away from who you are, or maybe take you away from something you love, or even someone you love.
We are always going to face the lies in this life, but it doesnt mean that the truth too far. Its always going to be in reachable distance if yourwhilling to get it back.
We face what is not real all the time, and sooner or later we start to believe it. And that is why right there, that we get so far from the truth, the real existance. You know. Its like our minds only believe in whats not real, something so so far from reality. But why is that?
I guess its from all the lies we face it sometimes makes the truth seem so far away.
hmm .
But think of this, what if reality was all just what we make it. Then what? Does the lies not matter anymore, every false identity and statement not occur to be a lie anymore. Does the truth feel closer or is it still pushed away? What then. If reality was what we made it to be.
Would everything change, would things suddenly be okay?
I dont know, i guess we can only find that out for ourselves.
But the thing is, the truth is in exsitance, and lies are just the intentional untruth. So why do we get caught up in so many false statements, and actions, why cant we just go on believing and knowing that the truth will carry us you now. And everything will be okay. Where for a moment nothing can take whats real away from us. But maybe some of us make it inevitably or you could say impossible to avoide or prevent the lies.
I guess somethings we just have to figure it out on our own, you know, are you living in the truth or is that so far from your life right now?
Just have a little faith that the truth will keep you from all the false statements and identities in this life, Have hope that things will be okay if you just believe that the truth isnt too far. Dont give up.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Maybe, Just Maybe whats already happend can slip behind you'
You know you cant erase the things you may have said, or take back the actions you have made, but maybe just maybe theres still hope, and beyond that, theres forgivness. Or maybe theres that one chance youve been waiting for to escape, to leave what has already happend behind. Not that it never existed, because it did, just to put a blind eye out infront, so its just a vague blurr becoming distant to your memory. Its like when you wake up from a dream, and by the time you have woken up, its really just a blurr, a dream you cant remember. Maybe just maybe the bad part of your past could be that. Maybe someone out there believes in you, or even has the strength to say they have faith in you. To put forward the words that not only help a person but through it all give them the real existing belief that they can change.
If you think about it, there is a hope. You have hope all your life. Its the whilling to want to change that really makes things different. There is forgivness because no matter what we do, we are forgiven that moment. There is that one chance to escape, its the moment you realize your done holding onto whats already gone and left, and your moving on. Someone does believe in you. and they believe that change can be possible for you because maybe it was possible for them too. They have faith in you because maybe there just not ready to give up on you yet either because the truth is we all hate losing people. You see through everything in life, and from your past theres always going to be those things there no matter what happens.
Sometimes its hard to see past the obvious things in life, we end up looking to hard instead of looking clearly and we just see through it instead of really understanding what we are looking for. But if we really opened our eyes maybe we could see, that the past is the past, and its time to live in the present.
You see, the past is kind of like when you go outside at night and look up to the stars, you know that there, there and you can see them, but you cant touch them. You know that your past is always there, and you can sometimes see the images from the memories, but you cant be in that moment again enough to feel it. Its like the wind you cant see the wind infront of you, but you can feel it. Its the feeling that you know its there. You cant see your past infront of you, because its behind you, but your always going to feel it, because its always going to be apart of you unless you let it go.
It will always be there because its apart of your life now. The best thing you can do is let it go. Stop running from it because its just going to follow you, just move on and start over, let the past of yours make you a stronger person, dont let it hold you back from anything, because no matter what there is a hope, and forgivness. There is a chance to escape, People believe in you and have faith in you. Its all there, but sometimes your to wrapped up in what has happend that you just cant let it go and instead you start to slip away from yourself. If all you do is think about it and your living directly in the past, then you cant really call it your past can you, because your still living it.
Stop letting it take control of your life, and just let it go, and move on from whats already happend. Let whats happend slip behind you, so you can walk a new path.
Monday, April 20, 2009
letting him in, through all your descuises;
Our society and the world we live in today is really just like a masked ball, where everbody hides their real chraracter and their true identity. Instead they reveal their character by hiding, or even to the point where their running.
We've all hid behind a mask before, where we discuise our selves from who we really are so the world cant get close enough to see. Weve all done it, sometimes because we are scared of what people think of us, and i mean the real us. Its pathetic, i mean other people are just as worried as us, so why do we worry so much? Its really easy to get lost and carried away from who you are.
Gone to a place where you dont belong, just because you wear a mask. You lose your self in many things like the gossip, the lies in this life, the fights and mostly the or i should say alot of our fake identities that usually get us through the day with out us even realizing it. Our self descise that keeps people from knowing us. Life can be tough and a series of trial and error but its no reason or excuse to give up or to hide who you are from everybody else.
We only live once and life is to short to be trying to be someone or something your not and losing yourself in everything that may be happening around you.
Like i said life is a series of trial and error and its really hard to get through it yourself, this is when God comes in, hes always here and will always be right by our sides.
Trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding in this life. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. Hes always right beside you, you just need to learn to let him in!
<3
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A piece of your very own past''
"A picture is worth a million words" , it basically says those words that are so hard to explain.
Thats what alot of us may have heard, but we may have never actually thought about, not only is a picture worth a million words, but what about a picture expressing a million emotions too, because there always there. One picture can take you back to that past, maybe a dark past you have tried to forget, or mabye a piece of your past youll always have, and you never want to let it go.
A picture that can explain alot, if you just look at it. What about where you have been? How you got to where you are now? Who you shared the past& memories with? What falls did you take and steps did you take to get to where you are? Who was in your life then, but have dissapeared now? To the simple questions of, what colour was your hair? How tall were you then? What did you dress like? Theres so much more to one picture, as you look at it, the world suddenly dissapears, because you start to look in the past. One picture can explain so much that has happend in your life, and how you live your life now. Its just one look into the past.
Some pictures you look at and it hurts you, because alot of the times some people you maybe looking at, arnt in your life now. And its hard, its really hard. The pictures will always be there. Even though the people in your pictures may not be walking the road with you today. Youll always have that breif memory of them. Youll always have that breif memory of yourself just looking at one photoraph too. Because the truth is, we all change. and you cant deny it. If you look at an old picture of yourself, take a deeper look, youll realize that you may be a total different person now, because we all chane in time. We may look back and regret somethings, but things are how they are now, and you cant look back and change it.
Every photo not only is worth a million words but theres always going to be those emotions too. When you look back and you greve, or you look back and you may be proud. Looking back and laughing at some memories, or even looking back and questioning a good amount of questions. Emotions will always be there, with out them the picture wouldnt make any sence.
So, when you look at a photograph on your wall, its like your looking into the past, and the words and emotions are there to help explain the photo. To help show you who you were, and who you are now in life. A photo is way more than just a memory, but its a peice of your very own past.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Life as I see it'' Then' Now&Soon to Come'
I sit down, and start to realize different things, from the past, to the present, and then right to the future. Its weird looking back and remember what your life may have been and comparing it to how it is now, and then wondering what it will be like years down the road. Remembering the simple things from the past. Sometimes when we look back, alot of us greve over the past, and even sometimes regret it, but why spend alot of your time looking back and greveing over the past and regreting it, when really we dont get it back. But sometimes we look back and we are proud of the person we used to be, and we dont spend our time regreting it, because we realize how pathetic it is. Why dont you just let it go?
I meen, weve all made mistakes in the past that we are not proud of, but if we dont let it go, then we wont get anywhere in life, because our life would be made up of, regretin, greveing and holding onto what we no longer have or can get back.
The present is now, at this moment, and every single second we spend of our lives we are given choices that we need to make, every single day! A variety of choices, weither there easy ones, or some choices that we make could change the rest of our lives, everytime we make a choice, we are taking a step forward. Its never always going to be easy and simple, there comes a time in life when we realize the feeling of hurt. How it feels to be hurt, and alot of the times is because of the choices we come to make, and the steps we take every day. Its not always going to be simple and easy, some of the times, its going to be difficult but its only life and we start to realize that tough times come and go when ever.
Future, future, future.
we all think about it, we all question it, and we all worry about it. But what i dont get, is why do we worry so much about it, i meen we should think about it for it is going to come, we all have questions about it, beacause well , we just dont know. But why worry about it?
Our past we have already lived, and we cant get that back. The present, we are living right now. And the future, well it has yet to come.
Our life is to short, and goes by to fast for us to be, greveing over our past, not living in the moment, and worrying about the future. Our past doesnt come back , and sooner or later our future will come, but it has yet to come. Live in the moment.
So as i sit down, thinking about the past to the future, i have my regrets and the things i wish i hadnt done, but i also accept my past for what it is and move on, life is too short to be worrying about it, and i have realized that. As the days, the minutes, the hours, the weeks, the months and the years go by, i actually start to understand that when we fall, we can always get up, i understand that the mistakes we make, really make us stronger, and i understand that we shouldnt hold back from life, life goes by way to fast, to be stuck in the past, trust me. Let it go, and move on. Life goes by to fast to be worrying so much too.
So just have a little bit of hope and faith to get you by, and believe that life is worth living for'
Friday, February 27, 2009
Goodbye
I dont know what hurts the most; saying goodbye to someone realizing that there not comeing back, or not even getting the chance to say goodbye to them. Ive been through both, where i have had the chance to say goodbye, but just letting them go as they walk out of your life, and ive also been to that place where you dont even get a chance to have your goodbyes, where there just gone. And you have no idea when they may come back, or if they even will.
Its hard sometimes, i meen sometimes we try to avoid the truth, keeping us diss-illusiond with what is put out right in front of us, weither its, ' that person is leaving' or its ' that person has already left ' .
Has someone ever left your life all of a sudden but yet a part of you is still holding on?
Have you ever said your goodbye, and then after having that person leave, you start to realize how much you need them in your life.
and lastly ,
Have you ever missed out on that one goodbye that meant forever.
that one goodbye that would meen so much, if you could just look into that persons eyes again, and realize that nothing is ever determined in this life.
Where things change, people change all the time, and our hearts change too.
I guess we all just need to stop and take a look and realize what "Goodbye" really means.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
forgiveness;
Forgivness is such a simple word, but it is so hard to do , when youve been hurt.
thats so true,
if you think about it, if you have been hurt by someone, eccepting that youve been hurt is one thing, but trying to forgive the person, thats another thing, and its the one thing that causes heart ache.
we have all probably been hurt in the past, some of you may even be hurting right now, and when forgivness runs through your head, its the one thing you struggle to do as much as you want to, its just really hard.
im sure as much as its hard to admit, but we have all probably hurt someone in the past, maybe not even knowing it, or having any control over it, or maybe you knew you hurt the person, you just didnt know what the out comes were.
but forgiving is really hard.
forgiving yourself for holding onto all the stuff in this world that have been hurting you, and forgiving yourself for not letting go and forgiving the ones that have hurt you , or the ones you have hurt.
i guess forgivness starts with letting go.
but not entirely letting go of the person, just lettting go enough to forgive them.
forgiving the ones who have hurt you, is the best thing you can do, i meen think of all the ones you havnt forgave, how do you feel right now,
where has it got you, no where really?
because having a part of you hold onto them, is just bringing the memory of them hurting you again, which just causes heart ache.
maybe its just time for you to forgive them?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
trying to forget someone you loved'
I think that trying to forget someone you loved, is really like trying to remember someone you never knew.
I think somewhere inside our hearts, burried under the pain, a part of us still holds on to them, and just never builds the strength to let them go.
see all the people we never knew or dont know, are complete strangers to us, and trying to forget someone you once loved, is exactly like trying to remember someone you never knew.
its all pretty much the same, because we are so afraid that if we forget someone we will really just lose them forever. But isnt that the idea, the moment you know that, that person shoouldnt be in your life, is the moment you want to forget them, and let go of them? maybe even lose them?
We have all probably been there, when were face to face with the question, are we whilling to hold on to them forever, or have we built the strength to let go of them, and forget.
Dont hold back when your heart knows what to do, and when that gut feeling inside tells you its time to leave them behind.
because sometimes holding on, can be the worst thing you could ever do in life,
maybe its about time you should let go.
and forget that one person, who has made you miserable inside.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
hurt'
you shouldnt focus on all the things in life that are hurting you, even when sometimes it feels like theres no way out, because hurt in this world is so big.
if you think about it, we have all probably hurt someone in the past, or even a matter of seconds, minutes, hours or days ago, weve all been there, wether or not we were the ones hurting inside from being hurt, or we were the ones hurting others.
why do we do it?
maybe were so dissillusiond in the fact that we actually are hurting someone, i meen we dont do it on purpose all the time, but when it is on purpose, its mostly because of rage, anger, jealiousy, hatred, denial, confusion, or even just the curiosity of what may happen as bad as it sounds, arnt those the things that create hurt in this world. we dont meen to, but some how we just do it.
but sometimes its not even about that, theres many other things in life that are out there, that may have hurt you, in the past, or might even hurt you in the future, its all just a test to make you stronger. things happen for reasons, but sometimes you just cant find the reasoning to things. i think that when people leave, well thats where alot of hurt builds up, and its sooo incrediably hard to just stop hurting.
after having someone you love leave, you may not realize it right away, but later on these roads in this life, you start to realize that you need that person again, and life just doesnt make sence with out them in it, i meen feeling unworthy, hated, stupid for even trying to make sence of it all, confused out of your mind, and scared that your never going to see that person again, it all just causes hurt, and we dont see it until we actually start to wonder and miss them.
its just so hard, you want to let go , and youve tried, but a part of you is still holding on because hidden under the pain and hurt, they have caused you, well you just still believe in them , and have faith for them , and hope for their heart to change, but tthings dont just go back to normal. and thats when you start to realize if they still love you, or even care about you, beacsuse sseeing them very few times, and not hearing from them for a long time.
no phone calls, no emails, no visiting, no nothing , no comunication.
so you ask yourself this ,..
can you please tell me, why i should beleive in you,
why should i still have faith and hope for you,
please just give me a reason why i can trust that you will stay and you wont go, or that i can trust that one day your heart is going to change and your going to come back,
because this pain and hurt and confusing , and broken road between us, seperating us, causing us to be apart and in so much hurt, is really really hard to live with.
and really, as hard as this is to say it , but my faith and hope for you is slightly dissapearing and im not sure how much longer i can handle it, is waiting for you really worth it?
after thinking all of that , you hesitate but pull the strength to say,
i wish someone could just save me, take me to a better place,
because this one that your in right now is so far from where you wish you could be.
just take me somewhere, somewhere else, so i can find the strength to actually have a reason why i should still beilieve in you,
and mostly have faith and hope for you, because who you have shown me to be , is nothing but complete stranger.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
looking back;
So have you ever looked at an old photo of yourself,
and just the question of who you were runs through your head,
but then as you take a good glance at this one photo, the question that starts to exist, is ' who am i today'
who are you?
how did you get this far, or how did you get to the place you are right now. and then you slowly,
with a little hesitation wonder,
if you hadnt had those bad days in your life so far, would you be where you are now and as strong as you are,
would you really appreciate the good days?
we all make mistakes, thats one thing that makes us stronger though, and gives us the power and strength to know we dont want to walk down those same roads that may already be familiar to us.
you know, they say that in order to go on in life well, and appreciate it for what its worth, enjoy it , and live each day as if it were your last, you have to be whilling to let go of your past, stop living in your past,
move on from it, and make this life of yours a new one,
one where the past doesnt exist for you know that it is gone , and your in the moment, and the future has yet to come,
dont hold back, dont give up, and live each day one at a time,
with the ones you love, and the ones you know will always be with you side my side as you walk these roads.
believe. have faith. and hope for yourself, the ones you love, and your future.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
now your gone, but a peice of me is still holding on'
do you ever think about the memories we shared together,
do you ever take a glance at a picture of us together and wonder why things changed?
and why you went away to have a new life with out me,
i hate it,
i hate missing another day with out you in my life,
i hate missing another day with out seeing your face, or hearing your voice,
its been months now, and when we do see each other its just weird,
because its hard for me to let you back in, after all, your never around to show me the person you can be,
i know that this hurts you,
it hurts me too, and i wish there was something i could do to make things easier,
your that one person who i need in my life,
and turns out your not in it,
as i pace myself, because im scared of getting hurt again,
i try to understand.
this isnt how things should be, but they are,
why cant you just see, how much this kills me inside.
i stare at the ceiling and all that crosses my mind is that your gone.
are you ever coming back,
do you even want to?
when someone leaves, its so hard to build the streength to let it go, and forgive them even though you want to so bad, its hard,.
and it eventually gets hard to let others in, having that one simple fear of them leaving.
we have all probably had that experience of someone just getting up and dissapearing into this world, and i know how it feels, esepecialy when that one person never comes back, and you hardly ever see them.
but theres a world out there, and it waiting for you,
dont be afraid to let others in , because the moment you think that love is over rated, is the exact moment your wronge.,
just because someone you loved has left doesnt meen everyone is going to be like,
dont fear something like holding on,
becasuse with a little bit of hope and faith,
things can turn around.,
dont stop believing in that one person who may have left, becasue the truth is they are just as confused as you are,
they just havnt realized how much they may be hurting you,
just dont give up onthem. as hard as it might be , keep holding on, because one day they can change.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
that one place. '
Have you ever came to a point in your life where everything feels to have gone one way and you just havnt been able to get there yet.
Its like the floor has fell right out from underneith you, and all you ever did was just keep running, running from the truth and what may have been reality. now you just cant find your way back, as the life youve lived moves in a different direction you try to chase it, and try to get back to the way it was ,
but maybe, just maybe its not about going back.
maybe its about starting over, and trying to figure out this whole life of yours as who you are today, and not going back and re taking those steps you have already made.
Life is too short to be someone else,
you have to go out and live it, as yourself.
hiding behind someone elses reflection or shadow is just following after there footsteps. why not go out and be yourself. Make your own steps toward your future,
no one can tell you how to live your life, they can give you advice and help you out on the way , but it all comes down to how you look at life.
dont mistake your life for someone elses, go out and live it for yourself.
this all starts with a little confidence.
how do you expect to succeed wihtout it,
even if it feels like the floor has fell out from underneith of you, and you have hit rock bottom, dont give up.
keep trying.
Dont run from what is right infront of you either. take a second to realize it, and dont hold back.
we all have hopes and dreams, so why not take those hopes and dreams and take simple steps into putting them in your life, and having them come true.
it all takes a little confidence,
little steps forward,
and hope for your future and yourself.
dont stop here, be who you really are,
because life is really just too short to be someone else,
go out and find that one place where you belong,
that one place where people believe in you.
the place where you know at the moment you reach it, that everything is going to be different, and your whole perspective on life changes,
suddenly you know why your there and you know what brought you to that beautiful place.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
So ive just been sitting here, and ive been thinking, everyone has there similarities and there differences, and im sure some of you can probably relate to this.. or most of you can probably relate...
going through those times in your life where your just sitting there, starring off into space, and all you can think about and try to understand is why do people leave?
you always ask yourself the question things happen for reasons? but why cant i ffind a good reason on why that one person left? Its that person who you will never forget even though you can hardly figure out who they are anymore, that person who you always think about, and remember how close you used to be, and the person who you never expected to grow apart and become strangers with. why did they have to leave?
its so hard to forgive them, but i know its not only them you need to forgive, its yourself. You need to forgive yourself for holding onto all the anger they may have caused, all the dinal and hatrade they brought to your life, you need to forgive yourself for holding onto the thoughts of being worthless because of the fact they left, its the moment when you can forgive them, and forgive yourself when things start to change. It so hard, i know, trust me. Theres somethings in life that are so hard to forgive your self for, and the people you just cant build the strength to forgive,
i meen you want to, you really want to forgive them but its so hard because there never there. Their just gone liveing a total life of their own independance one in which your not it.
ive felt that way, i sometimes still do, because forgiving that one person, has to be the most hardest thing ill ever face in my life, and i just dont get it sometimes, i meen i know i have a father in heaven, and i know he forgives me the second i make a mistake, but were human and i dont understand why it is so hard for us to "forgive" . i guess its just the fact of being afraid youll never see that person again, but thats pathetic because forgiving them is the one thing that could bring you back to that person.
its hard, difficult, and stressful, but when you build the strength to let go, and forgive them, and eventually forgive yourself, that is when you start to feel a change in your life.
yes things happen for a reason, its all part of gods plan, in the end you will understand, but for now you just need to have faith, and dont doubt your life one bit.
things can change if you are whilling to let them.
fear,
Fear is something that disrupts your whole entire life, all it does is bring total obliteration.
Maybe youve been holding onto your fears because theres nothing you think you can do to move past your fears.
Fear is really a mind killer, but it is only as deep as your mind allows it to be, if your so caught up in something, and then you tend to fear it, your fear will only start to become real, when thats all you can think about.
Everyone has there own share of fears, i know i do. Some in which i just havnt learned to move on from, but i know one day i will.
see you gain strength, courage, love, confidence, in every single experience when you realize that your fear cannot control your life anymore, the exact moment you stop and you look fear right in its face, and realize that its nothing but a visaude that you bring among yourself.
I dont think alot of you have actually taken the time to think about what might be holding you back, it all comes down to fear, whether its the fear of holding on, the fear of moving on, the fear of being yourself, the fear of leaving your life behind because you know you need to move on from the past, or the fear of starting over, the fear of a change.
dont you see, all this fear built up inside you, just holds you back , brings you down, and forbids you to live the life youve always wanted to, and to be the person you used to be or want to be, the real you.
Letting go of fear is hard, but you have to do it sometime, if you want to live a great life. one where you can ttake risks, and move on in, one where it doesnt matter who youve been, or where youve been in your life, what paths you have taken or what regrets you may pounder over, it doesnt matter becaause letting go of the fear of becomeing that person again, is so great. Forgiving yourself for who you may have beeen, and forgiving yourself for the life you have lived in fear and denial in. Its all worth it,
take your fear and leave it behind, you can do anything in this life, if you just believe.
have faith, and hopes for your future.
