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Sunday, December 15, 2013

#tilldeathdouspart

Read this tonight from http://staymarriedblog.com/7-marriage-myths-and-the-truths-no-one-talks-about/ thought I would post it on here. TRUTH. 

7 Marriage Myths and the Truths No One Talks About - #staymarried

Myth 1 – Marriage magically changes people for the better.

TRUTH – The person at the altar will be the person at the breakfast table.
The only magic in marriage is the magic we put into it every day. The little kisses, happy surprises and night time cuddles that make us smile. Expect your honey to be exactly the same as before the wedding and you may save yourself mountains of disappointment.

Myth 2 – Once we are married, it will all work out.

TRUTH – Marriage is something you create every day.
Marriage will not erase your debt, make your cranky family member nicer, or get you a raise. Things work out because we work at them. Period.

Myth 3 – He loves me, so he should know what I want without me saying a word or communicating in any way.

TRUTH: No matter how much he loves you, he is not a mind reader. Neither are you. Use your words.
Michelle & Tony’s “To Love is to Listen” post is just about everything I would want to say on this topic. Finish reading this first, then read that one. Print out the pin and put it on your refrigerator. Yes, this one.

Myth 4 – Marriage will make me feel complete.

TRUTH: At best, marriage will make you more of who you are.
Marriage is a like an art studio, it’s a space to create your life. It is a relationship, not a mechanic. Marriage is not going to fix you because you are not broken.
The only person who can complete you is you. The gift in taking responsibility for your life and your choices is that you can make a different a choice at any moment and move towards love.

Myth 5 – She didn’t do x. He did y. It means he doesn’t love me. It means she doesn’t care.

TRUTH: We create meaning and we can re-create it.
If you don’t know what something means, ask. Don’t invent. Let me repeat that. If you don’t know what something means, ask. Don’t imagine terrible stories in your head, ask. Don’t make up stories about the past and the future, ask. Don’t cause yourself and your partner profound pain, ask. Got that? Good.

Myth 6 – If my wedding is perfect, my marriage will be perfect.

TRUTH: The purpose of the wedding is the marriage.
Spending 30 thousand dollars on flowers is not going to make your relationship any better; it is just going to buy you really expensive flowers. I so deeply love beautiful, soulful, joy-filled weddings, but it makes me sad when people think it must look perfect on the outside to be truly wonderful on the inside. That’s the biggest lie ever. It’s how you treat each other every day that matters. Every single day. Not one special day. Everyday.

Myth 7 – We know how to communicate, we don’t need to practice.

TRUTH – Good communication is learned by being intentional over time.
Learning to communicate clearly with empathy and practicing active listening is good for every single relationship in your life, especially your marriage. I should change this truth to say, “You think you know how to communicate, then you get married.”
Learn your spouse’s love language. Practice listening with love every day. Practice speaking with love every day. You don’t have to do it perfectly; all you have to do is practice. That’s enough. I promise.

Monday, November 4, 2013

A Divine Appointment

God truly makes divine appointments.

God made a divine appointment Sunday November 3rd 2013.

I was at Dynasty and usually when I go I wake up and stand in line really early like 2:30 am or 3 am, because I wanted to rush to the front of the line to get a good seat up close. This weekend Dani spoke about "slowing down, and not rushing." Everything was slowed down this weekend, the breaks were longer and the group work was longer so we could go through it slow rather than rushing through.

This is exactly what I needed and why I believe God put me in Texas that weekend.

Before going to Dynasty, I was stressed out, worn out and I felt like my life was being so rushed. Everything I did was so fast with anxiety and stress rather than slow with love and peace. I was overwhelmed and I felt like my husband and I never had a break, we were constantly on the go, constantly doing something, going somewhere and we barely had time to sit and enjoy each others presence. Even Gods presence.

After going to Dynasty this past weekend, I can honestly say my life has changed. I was completely broken.
Broken in a good way.
The entire weekend was about slowing down, and not rushing. This was the best dynasty I have ever been too. It was not planned, it was all lead by the presence of God. Dani didn't go on stage knowing what she was going to do next. She got on stage and asked our almighty God to lead her, or use the people in the room to direct what happened next. She truly let God lead her and us. It was absolutely beautiful, to know that God did the entire weekend, he was the teacher, he just used Dani's voice to teach us. It was comforting to be reminded of that.

On the Sunday God reminded me that he has planned divine appointments, and you are exactly where you are for a reason. You just need to let God in and "be the sheep and not the shepherd." I decided on Saturday night to take it slow, to not rush. To sleep in. Knowing that I would not get a good seat in the front, I slept in, I went down and stood in line at 6am rather than 2:30 or 3 am. I truly practiced slowing down. I sat in the 8th row back which was one or two rows from being the last rows in the room all the way at the back, 5 seats in. I could have gotten up earlier, I could have sat anywhere. I could have sat 8 rows back and 2 seats in, but no. I sat in the 8th row 5 seats in. For what reason I did not know?

I had two amazing women in my group and a gentlemen. Maria, Regina and Ryan. I sat beside Ryan facing the front of the room and Maria and Regina turned their chairs around to face us. On the other side of Ryan was his wife who's name was actually Nicole! We let God speak to us and show in our hearts what to say to each other, words of encouragement and appreciation. I stopped thinking of what I should say, and I closed my eyes and God filled me with his words and his images. We then shared with each other what God was saying to them. It came to everyone talking to me and telling me what God spoke to them about. Ryan went first, and spoke to me using the words \God placed in his heart. And he was finished and then Maria went and then Regina. Regina had gotten through her list and then her last statement was ... " I have the word Harmony written down as well, I don;t know why" She had nothing to say about harmony, she just had that word placed on her heart when she was receiving words from God to tell me. I said thank you I receive all of those things and bless you. Ryan quickly came in and said, "Nicole as I was telling you things I appreciated about you, I stopped quickly before it was time to switch and when that happened I honestly didn't know why I couldn't say anything else... All I could think about was my 5 daughter and how when she grows up he kept seeing her with the image of me," He kept seeing her daughter growing up to look like me.

I said awe, and was struck by that but then this happened, and I almost broke down.
Ryan said "Regina it's actually funny how your last word of appreciation about Nicole was Harmony and how you did not know why that came up, you just felt led to say the word harmony, because my daughters name is actually Harmony."

WOW!

I was like are you serious.
It was so crazy and beautiful because in this moment I was reminded about how God makes divine appointments and if I was sitting just one seat to the left or right, or the front of the room I would have never experienced this, and how God's presence was so obvious. I would have never been reminded about divine appointments.

This was the most beautiful experience I have ever had, and really made me realize that if God can use them, or you to speak to me, then God can take this 20 year old sinner and speak words through her as well. And that God really does have you exactly where you are meant to be, you just need to allow him to take you places, and be the sheep and not the shepherd. To slow down and not rush, because when we rush we miss out on what God's plans are and we continue our own.

So my hope is that this just reminds you of divine appointments, that God can use you, to slow down and accept that you are where you are for a reason, and that reason will prevail. Because God's plan always endures and prevails.


If I was meant to be in Texas for just one reason (I know there were more reasons) It would be for me to be in that room, in that seat, during this exercise.

So beautiful.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

thankful---

Everything that I am thankful for or have ever been thankful for, really comes down to this. ---- My God.

Because with my God...
He has given me my family,
He has blessed me with the life he has given me .
He has given me life and my health
He has countless times forgiven me
And countless times been patient with me
He has been my light in any dark place
He has always been reaching his hand out for mine.
He has given me my husband
And given him all the amazing qualities I get to be blessed by.
He has given me vision and a desire
And he has never once said I was not good enough
He has always been here, if there's one person it is God who has never left my side.
He's been here for every birthday, every graduation, every friendship, every relationship, ever hardship, every fall.
It is him who has never left me stranded, but steared me back to shore.
He has loved me for my entire life. If there was ever any moment in my life where I felt like I was not loved, it has always been God who has always loved me.
He has never hurt me.
He doesn't just choose when he wants to be my father, he has always always been him.
He has built qualities in me
He has made me stronger
He has made me who I am today.

Everything in my life that has brought me to where I am is because of an unfailing love, an encounter that I had with my God years ago who swept me off my feet who has believed in me more than I have believed in him. A God who turns the ashes into beauty and a God who died to know you. There's people in this world who do not even know the man who died to know them. I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to be a light in the darkness , a God who has chosen YOU and I to help this world meet him.

At the end of the day, I can say that I'm thankful for my friends, family, what's for dinner, dessert, my puppy, the food in my fridge, my health, music, art, the money in my pocket and the money in my bank. The list can go on, and yes these are all great things. But all of these things are only because of my God who has blessed me with them, everything is meaningless without God. With God all things have meaning.

 So I am thankful for my God who has made everything possible.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

"When I look at you" by Miley Cyrus....


Everybody needs inspiration Everybody needs a song A beautiful melody when the night's so long' Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy

Yeah, when my world is falling apart When there's no light to break up the dark That's when I, I, I look at you
When our worlds are falling apart and there's no light, we have been taught to look to God.
When the waves are flooding the shore And I can't find my way home anymore That's when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding our shore, and we lose our way home, we've also been taught to look to God.

Have we been taught to look to God when our world is perfectly fine though?
How many times do you look to God in the good times?
How many times do you look to God in the bad times?

When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth You love me for who I am like the stars hold the moon Right there where they belong And I know I'm not alone
In the hard times, and definately in the good times... When we look to God, there's forgiveness, truth and he really loves us for who we are. You are right where you belong, and you are not alone. See if you weren't supposed to be right where you are right now, then God wouldn't be keeping you there. There's a reason why you are where you are right now.
Yeah, when my world is falling apartWhen there's no light to break up the darkThat's when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shoreAnd I can't find my way home anymoreThat's when I, I, I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me Just like kaleidoscope colors that prove to me All I need, every breath that I breathe Don't ya know, you're beautiful
Yeah, yeah
God see's you as beautiful, and your made in his image. You were fearfully and wonderfully made.
When the waves are flooding the shore And I can't find my way home anymore That's when I, I, I look at you I look at you
Yeah, yeah, oh, ohYou appear just like a dream to me
So when the waves are flooding your shore, and you can't find your way home anymore, Look to God.
But don't forget to look to God, on the good days. Praise him in the storm, but praise him the next morning when the sun comes out.
Don't forget that your heavenly father isn't just a crutch in the hard times. But he's a celebrator in the good times.

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.["



Tuesday, May 7, 2013

When something good happens to you, it can almost be compared to goosebumps. One second you have goosebumps, and suddenly you get that chill and then a few seconds later they are gone.

When something bad happens to you, it can almost be compared to a scarr. You don't have something and then one moment can pass and your left with a scar for the rest of your life.

See we forget about the good things that happen, and we tend to focus more and remember more of the bad things that happen. If someone once called you "beautiful", you remember that for a little but then someone calls you "ugly" and suddenly the beautiful gets shoved under the rug, and ugly is what we remember.

This is what our life is controlled by. The seed that someone else has planted in us. A lot of the time it's the bad seed that takes control of our life. Someone who was told they are ugly, then start to call themselves ugly. And what happens? Someone calls you fat, and then suddenly we begin to call ourselves fat. What happens? We become that seed.

We become that product that everyone else has sold us.
The product of ugly.
fat
stupid
selfish
greedy
too skinny
too gullable

How they have sold us this? They have spoken those words, and those seeds are what we have eaten. We have forgotten about the good things and revolved our lives around the bad things.

We need to start speaking good things into people's lives, and the bad things that are spoken into ours we need to choose not to eat that seed. You can chose to eat it, and let it control your life, or you can chose to spit it out and prove to them that their words are lies.



Wednesday, April 10, 2013

1 John 4:8 'Whoever Does Not Love, Does Not Know God, because God is love."
 
Sometimes you meet people that are very difficult to love.
But what if God didnt bring them into your life,  but instead he brought you into their life.
You just have to figure out why?
Then maybe you can find a hope to learn to love them.

 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

you chose, like picking a fish out of the ocean
ive been living and drowning in your choice
every wave you just made it over
i was the one who got a salty mouth full

you took the hook off,
suddenly the bottom of the ocean was all that was left
maybe a glimps of your prioritites but the taste was just too good to give up

you've drank a thousand oceans,
i've soard on raging seas
you've lost all sense of feeling
i've smelt the salty taste
the one you chose before me
i've tried a million times, but no anchor could stop you