Wow,

It has been a super long time since I have visited this blog of mine, and actually wrote on here.
You know, I never cared about who or how many people visited my blog, took time to read it, and so on.

Writing was always just an escape for me. It has always been here for me. Giving me that outlet when words seemed to tough to verbally express. It all was a little bit easier on here.

Since the last time I wrote on this blog, a lot has changed. It has been almost exactly a year.
A lot has changed.

I've been to new places, met new people, started a marriage blog, entered a new journey of being pregnant and expecting our first child... splashed paint on a canvas for the first time in what seemed to be a very long time. Accomplished some of my big goals for this year, and has grown tremendously in my marriage.

Even though I stopped writing on here, I still started writing somewhere else.
It is just something that I find peace in, something I find my voice in.

I am going to try and do my best to write on here as more of a personal blog, and then on the marriage blog as well as a marriage focused environment. (www.ourthreestrands.com)

We gravitate to what we know.
And lose sight on the things we have yet to know.

Sometimes you just need a break.
Take a breath and let God to do the rest.


We are so dependent on ourselves to get things done, to accomplish everything, and we become these monsters- trying to fit everyone's expectations. Trying to make everyone else happy.


Are you really happy?


Stop trying to please everyone around you, stop trying to please God. Just stop and breath for a second, let God take control.


You have so much control over your life, do you have enough control to let God step in and take you to the places where you are meant to be?


Let him take the lead.


It's time now, to stop running the race that you have set out for yourself and start running the race that you have been designed to run. 

He didn't die for you, for you to think your mistakes are too big for him. He Died for you, so that you may be forgiven- because of his Grace- your free.

Its been a week tomorrow since my mom has been in a coma fighting for her life. A week today since I was with her last, and we talked to each other. Its hard to see her in the state she is in. She's a strong women and smiles a lot, especially when she's around her family and friends. She's a good decision maker, and its hard to see her laying in the ICU hospital bed, not able to smile, talk, or make any decisions. There are so many people praying for her miracle which has already started to unfold. God turns everything bad into good. There is something beautiful that will come out of this. Mom wants to write a book, and this whole experience is just God Helping her write a couple chapters in that book. A friend said God told them that it would be chapter 7. I can't wait for my dear mom to wake up and smile again, to see those eyes and feel her soft hands squeeze mine. To show her the Facebook group of people praying for her. She is so loved and beautiful. I can't wait to hear about all the dreams she's had this past week and tell her how much we have missed her and love her. God already knows the outcome of this. And Iam so thankful that my mom has been an incredible blessing to us, that because of her we have a relationship with God. I couldn't imagine going through all of this without God. And she continues to do that even while she is laying in that bed. A girl I went to highschool with requested to be on the prayer group and she wrote "i don't believe in a higher power, or anything like that but today I prayed for the first time. When I had no one to turn to, I prayed to God, and I will continue to pray for your mom and your family." Mom because of this whole experience Gods already created something becautofuk from it. That girl talked to Jesus for the first time and met him!
When we walked into the Chatham hospital they asked if this was all her family. Is this it? Being me, danielle, shane, mike, jordan and grandma. Yes we replied saying we have a very small family. Through this, I've quickly realized how huge our family is. We have people praying all over the world, different states. We are so blessed with the family we have the community of positive, prayer warriors that we are apart of! We can't always see how God is working in the moment, but at some point in our life, we will know why all of this happened. We just have to hold tight to our faith, and know that our God is an awesome God, and he works everything out for our good. He knows ggd desires of our hearts, he hears our prayers. He knit my mom in her moms womb perfectly, he designed every muscle, every tissue, and every breath. Every function of the body our Gods hands created. There's nothing he can't do. He can take our mom and touch every organ, every muscle, every tissue, he can breathe life back into her lungs. He can make everything function the wag it was designed to function, and he is doing that now. It took him 9 months before, so we need to be patient and rest in his presence and know that he is good. Nothing is meaningless. Everything has purpose and Gods plan always prevails. So I rebuke you Satan in the name of Jesus Christ, you can go go hell where you belong.

#tilldeathdouspart

Read this tonight from http://staymarriedblog.com/7-marriage-myths-and-the-truths-no-one-talks-about/ thought I would post it on here. TRUTH. 

Myth 1 – Marriage magically changes people for the better.

TRUTH – The person at the altar will be the person at the breakfast table.

The only magic in marriage is the magic we put into it every day. The little kisses, happy surprises and night time cuddles that make us smile. Expect your honey to be exactly the same as before the wedding and you may save yourself mountains of disappointment.

Myth 2 – Once we are married, it will all work out.

TRUTH – Marriage is something you create every day.

Marriage will not erase your debt, make your cranky family member nicer, or get you a raise. Things work out because we work at them. Period.

Myth 3 – He loves me, so he should know what I want without me saying a word or communicating in any way.

TRUTH: No matter how much he loves you, he is not a mind reader. Neither are you. Use your words.

Michelle & Tony’s “To Love is to Listen” post is just about everything I would want to say on this topic. Finish reading this first, then read that one. Print out the pin and put it on your refrigerator. Yes, this one.

Myth 4 – Marriage will make me feel complete.

TRUTH: At best, marriage will make you more of who you are.

Marriage is a like an art studio, it’s a space to create your life. It is a relationship, not a mechanic. Marriage is not going to fix you because you are not broken.

The only person who can complete you is you. The gift in taking responsibility for your life and your choices is that you can make a different a choice at any moment and move towards love.

Myth 5 – She didn’t do x. He did y. It means he doesn’t love me. It means she doesn’t care.

TRUTH: We create meaning and we can re-create it.

If you don’t know what something means, ask. Don’t invent. Let me repeat that. If you don’t know what something means, ask. Don’t imagine terrible stories in your head, ask. Don’t make up stories about the past and the future, ask. Don’t cause yourself and your partner profound pain, ask. Got that? Good.

Myth 6 – If my wedding is perfect, my marriage will be perfect.

TRUTH: The purpose of the wedding is the marriage.

Spending 30 thousand dollars on flowers is not going to make your relationship any better; it is just going to buy you really expensive flowers. I so deeply love beautiful, soulful, joy-filled weddings, but it makes me sad when people think it must look perfect on the outside to be truly wonderful on the inside. That’s the biggest lie ever. It’s how you treat each other every day that matters. Every single day. Not one special day. Everyday.

Myth 7 – We know how to communicate, we don’t need to practice.

TRUTH – Good communication is learned by being intentional over time.

Learning to communicate clearly with empathy and practicing active listening is good for every single relationship in your life, especially your marriage. I should change this truth to say, “You think you know how to communicate, then you get married.”

Learn your spouse’s love language. Practice listening with love every day. Practice speaking with love every day. You don’t have to do it perfectly; all you have to do is practice. That’s enough. I promise.

A Divine Appointment

God truly makes divine appointments.

God made a divine appointment Sunday November 3rd 2013.

I was at Dynasty and usually when I go I wake up and stand in line really early like 2:30 am or 3 am, because I wanted to rush to the front of the line to get a good seat up close. This weekend Dani spoke about "slowing down, and not rushing." Everything was slowed down this weekend, the breaks were longer and the group work was longer so we could go through it slow rather than rushing through.

This is exactly what I needed and why I believe God put me in Texas that weekend.

Before going to Dynasty, I was stressed out, worn out and I felt like my life was being so rushed. Everything I did was so fast with anxiety and stress rather than slow with love and peace. I was overwhelmed and I felt like my husband and I never had a break, we were constantly on the go, constantly doing something, going somewhere and we barely had time to sit and enjoy each others presence. Even Gods presence.

After going to Dynasty this past weekend, I can honestly say my life has changed. I was completely broken.
Broken in a good way.
The entire weekend was about slowing down, and not rushing. This was the best dynasty I have ever been too. It was not planned, it was all lead by the presence of God. Dani didn't go on stage knowing what she was going to do next. She got on stage and asked our almighty God to lead her, or use the people in the room to direct what happened next. She truly let God lead her and us. It was absolutely beautiful, to know that God did the entire weekend, he was the teacher, he just used Dani's voice to teach us. It was comforting to be reminded of that.

On the Sunday God reminded me that he has planned divine appointments, and you are exactly where you are for a reason. You just need to let God in and "be the sheep and not the shepherd." I decided on Saturday night to take it slow, to not rush. To sleep in. Knowing that I would not get a good seat in the front, I slept in, I went down and stood in line at 6am rather than 2:30 or 3 am. I truly practiced slowing down. I sat in the 8th row back which was one or two rows from being the last rows in the room all the way at the back, 5 seats in. I could have gotten up earlier, I could have sat anywhere. I could have sat 8 rows back and 2 seats in, but no. I sat in the 8th row 5 seats in. For what reason I did not know?

I had two amazing women in my group and a gentlemen. Maria, Regina and Ryan. I sat beside Ryan facing the front of the room and Maria and Regina turned their chairs around to face us. On the other side of Ryan was his wife who's name was actually Nicole! We let God speak to us and show in our hearts what to say to each other, words of encouragement and appreciation. I stopped thinking of what I should say, and I closed my eyes and God filled me with his words and his images. We then shared with each other what God was saying to them. It came to everyone talking to me and telling me what God spoke to them about. Ryan went first, and spoke to me using the words \God placed in his heart. And he was finished and then Maria went and then Regina. Regina had gotten through her list and then her last statement was ... " I have the word Harmony written down as well, I don;t know why" She had nothing to say about harmony, she just had that word placed on her heart when she was receiving words from God to tell me. I said thank you I receive all of those things and bless you. Ryan quickly came in and said, "Nicole as I was telling you things I appreciated about you, I stopped quickly before it was time to switch and when that happened I honestly didn't know why I couldn't say anything else... All I could think about was my 5 daughter and how when she grows up he kept seeing her with the image of me," He kept seeing her daughter growing up to look like me.

I said awe, and was struck by that but then this happened, and I almost broke down.
Ryan said "Regina it's actually funny how your last word of appreciation about Nicole was Harmony and how you did not know why that came up, you just felt led to say the word harmony, because my daughters name is actually Harmony."

WOW!

I was like are you serious.
It was so crazy and beautiful because in this moment I was reminded about how God makes divine appointments and if I was sitting just one seat to the left or right, or the front of the room I would have never experienced this, and how God's presence was so obvious. I would have never been reminded about divine appointments.

This was the most beautiful experience I have ever had, and really made me realize that if God can use them, or you to speak to me, then God can take this 20 year old sinner and speak words through her as well. And that God really does have you exactly where you are meant to be, you just need to allow him to take you places, and be the sheep and not the shepherd. To slow down and not rush, because when we rush we miss out on what God's plans are and we continue our own.

So my hope is that this just reminds you of divine appointments, that God can use you, to slow down and accept that you are where you are for a reason, and that reason will prevail. Because God's plan always endures and prevails.


If I was meant to be in Texas for just one reason (I know there were more reasons) It would be for me to be in that room, in that seat, during this exercise.

So beautiful.