Reasons why i love him <3

So usually i write about things that i like to get out instead of holding something in, and the biggest thing is to try to tell people that no matter how tough life can be and how you may come to crossroads in life and you dont know what path or direction to go in, and your sitting in a place where your confused, and worried about where your going to be and who you are. I like to say that life is going to throw things at you but no matter what you have to be strong, and you cant lose your faith and hope in the things you love the most and the things you trust, because in time things will and can get better if you let them. Sometimes you just have to let go of some things that you have been holding onto. Sometimes the past might hurt, but you have to let it go to move on.

But for this post i am going to write about someone who means the world to me, someone who has shown me alot of things about life and who has made a huge difference in my life, someone who i can trust with my whole heart. Someone i believe god put in my life for a reason, and i am so thankful for that. I couldnt ever be happier.

His name is Cody, we have been dateing for over 9 months and it will be 10 months soon when novemember comes around : ) He is an amazing guy, and has an amazing personality and such a careing and loving heart. He sees me for who i am and not someone im not, i can be myself around him. He is going to make such a big difference in this world someday i know he is, and he already has in my life.
I love him so much,
Not only is he my boyfriend but he is my bestfriend, i can tell him anything and i can trust him. And he is always there for me in good and bad times, if im going through somethings he is always right there to help me through it and tell me not to give up. He really does put a smile on my face, even if its the last thing i want to do. His love helps remind me that good things no matter what are still possible. And to always believe that anything is possible. He brings the best out of me, and brightens up my life with his love. His love has helped me to rediscover myself and who iam, because at some points we all lose ourselves and forget who we were. He helped me be who i am and not someone else. Cody is such an amazing guy, and he isnt like any other guy. When im with him, it feels like nothing else matters except for the moment spent in each others arms.
He has the most careing heart, and even when i am really really grumpy he still likes me = ) Everytime i think of him i find myself smiling. Every moment spent with him is so incredible, and i love every second of it.

.. our tickle wars, and rock paper scissor wars.... i love it how i win everytime and he is always in denial. Its cute = )
I cant explain the feelign i get when im with him, its like for once things actually make sence, and nothing can come between us. I feel liek when im with him anythign is possible, like i can do anything. He fills my life with joy and happiness. Every moment we spend together i always treasure and i will never forget. there always times worth remembering. All the times when we have serious coversations and then one second goes by and we are laughing about something totally different, it usually starts with a tickle war. God put him in my life for a reason and it filled my life with such an amazing joy. I am so thankful to have him in my life and i thank God everyday.

He means everything to me, and he is my anchor in lifes ocean, and most of all my best friend! He has seen me with no make up on, and he still loves me.

i am so blessed.

There are endless reasons why i love him but those are some reasons.
He means everything to me,
and he has made such an incredible difference in my life. And i know one day he is going to make a big difference in alot of peoples lives, i really believe that.
I love him so much <3

Maybe beyond everything; the real answer is to stop running"

Truth...

It still exists, it really does. You just have to believe that you know. Even though you come to points in your life, where truth can be so so cold, and dark, and a feeling youve never felt before. Maybe even more painful than you have ever imagined in your whole entire life. Where you have been faced with lies, and yet you learn to live with them, but when you are faced with the truth that may be even more cruel than any lie out there, its really hard to understand the difference between them. And you just want to run away and leave this place.

Theres always those times that we end up at, when we want to choose a different path, where we want to lead and lean towards a different direction because we are sick of the same thing over and over again. Where we just want to get up and go. At this moment you have to make choices, if you are going to let everyone define who you are before you even have the chance to figure that out for your self. See each day we are given choices, a whole lot of choices, but two very importan ones are, are you going to get up and move forward today, or are you going to simply give up?

After a while we tend to just give up, because we realize that its the same thing over and over again. Weither its the lies that we face, the truth that is always there and said to be the truth but ends up lost. When we just want out you know, because you feel as if nothing is going to change. When all you really want and wish for, is for that simple change that you know can happen but it feels so far away.

So this is why you want to start over and leave, for one moment to a place where you dont know anyone and no body knows you, or who you have been, where suddenly you can figure out who you really are and who you want to actually be for once. Because you have been living so long, being the person that everyone else knows you as, the person they defined you as. Someone youjsut cant be anymore. Someone your actually running from. Sometimes because of how other people have labled you its really hard to figure out who you are, but because its only when you are tested when you truley discover who you are. and when you can discover who you want to be and who you can be. Just because each day we are labeled and defined as something that is completely oposite doesnt mean the person you want to be is to far to reach and doesnt exist because it does. Somewhere , out there, in your faith and hope and belief that beyond your heartach and the fear that you feel that life has who you can be and want to be does exist.

Sometimes it takes a leap of faith to show people who that is, because you may be hiding under that mask , that label, that people have defined you as.
So just stop running,

When you do want to get up and go , because you feel it is the same thing over and over again and you just want to start over, why not right here, in the same place your at? Just dont except what they define you as, change who you are for you. and show everyone that who you can be and want to be does exist. Then maybe they will learn the truth you know, and not the hard truth, because all your doing is showing them who you really are, and maybe they will learn to do the same.

There is going to come times when every solution you can think of consist of getting away.
When you just want to get up and go, but maybe beyond that, the real answer is to just stop running.
Stop running from all the lies, or the hurtful truth, stop running from the person you have been, or the person others define you as, and stop running from always being in the same place every single day, just for once stop running, and take each day at a time because in life we will come to crossroads and we may not have a map, or a destination to go to so we tend to just turn around and go back, but instead of running away from our fears, and our past, we just have to live with it and move forward each day.

And believe that running isnt the solution but taking the steps to a new direction is a new beginning.

"Desire"

Have you ever had the desire to do something?
you know, that feeling you get when your heart is calling you to be something different for one moment of your life, to actually step out of that comfort zone youve been living in for so long.
The moment you get that feeling where you feel that maybe if you take that simple desire to do something and put it into reality than maybe you can escape the place your in right now, cause deep down you know theres a better place for you. You just havnt found it yet. And maybe its killding you inside, you just want out, you feel like your stuck in a place or a frozen moment that just leaves you wishing for something different.
Its like when youve been somewhere for so long that it has actually shaped your life, it has made you the person you are right now. But you just want something different sometimes. You see we can go on in life wishing for things we dont feel as if we can reach but does that shape our lives in any way? We can go on in life wishing we were somewhere else, or someone else but how does that change the picture now?
It doesnt. When you have the desire to do something why do we always second guess it, as if theres something maybe better out there? Desire is a sence of longing and hoping you know, the hope for something else. The desire to be something better than who you may have been. Desire gives us a reason to pick our selves back up after we fall, and to lead our life in the direction we want it to go.
Dont hold back on anything in life, if you have a desire to do something than fufill it with all you have. Make that desire a part of your life, a part of who you are. Chase after your dreams and dont hold back from anything, because that will get you know where. Keep strong and fight for what your heart is calling you to do and be. Dont hide that desire, or push it away as if it never existed because the truth is it has and its up to you to pick your self back up everytime you fall.
Dont give up on the things you love, desire and hope for because sometimes they only come around once.

Remembering'

You know, you can look at a photo of someone and you always remember who they were. You remember everything about them as if they are still here, but yet you know that they are gone.
What happens when you start to realize that. You know, that they are gone all over again, or what happens when you look at that picture and you know them soo well, but then you jump back into reality and your not only looking at someone you know, but now its as if you dont know them at all. What then?
Is it like none of the memories ever mattered? Is it like whats the point of trying to remember them when they have changed so much and you cant ever go back to how it used to be. You know? Or is it like having that one fear, of loosing the memory of who they were because your trying so hard to remember every single memory spent with them.
Its like when you do look at a photo of someone that you have now created a huge amount of distance between to the point where you dont know them at all you start really remember who they really used to be, and then you start to wonder how can someone change so dramatically where its like they are no longer in your life.
Why do these things happen?
Where you look at one photo and you really start to hurt, because you want nothing more than to always remember that person you know. Like if theres any fear in the whole world, your so scared of losing who that person was and all the memories, because you start to think that the memories are really all you have left of that person.
It sucks.
To have someone still in this life and yet you grow so far from them, and you dont know them anymore.
The person in that one photo probably just lives right down the road from you, someone you used to be so close to, someone you knew so well, there still around you just dont know them anymore but how come?
why stop knowing someone?
I dont get it at all.
Is it the effort in trying too, or what is it? Because to me its just pathetic. I look at alot of photo's and i remember who they were so well, but then i think and i have no idea who that person is now, and it really sucks.

Its like a part of you is missing.
One photo can have so much memory in it, but why not keep making the memories? I meen why stop? I think that we have all grown apart for someone, but if you really miss them, you have to make an effort to trying to get to know that person again, or all you are going to really have are memories of them and sooner or later those memories will probably fade.
Dont miss out on knowing someone you used to know so well, because then what was the point of knowing them rihgt? i meene youll have the memories and the photos, but why does that ever have to end?

Things happen for reasons'

Its crazy how within an hour everything can change. Where 60 minutes ago everything was so great and you sit there thanking God for what he has done in your life, and then an hour goes by, and suddenly what was is now gone. Everything is different in a matter of 60 minutes, and it changes your life forever.
Things are no longer the same, because that one person is gone.
And you start to question alot of things, because its like there is no answers, like your lost and confused and you just dont understand how something can change like that.
Where everything can be going so so right, too feeling broken, and hurt, and you just cant understand it at all.
Its hard to let someone go you know, but when your given just that and you cant do anything about it, i guess you just have to learn too. But not to the point where you will forget them cuz thats all you have left, are the memories because there gone. So you hold onto those, there the only thing left. Trategies happen all the time, but when your heart breaks you have to fight like crazy. And the pain you feel.. its to remind you that things will be okay, and theres something out there that will make everything alright. And that the pain and hurt will be replaced with happiness and that its worth fighting for.
Its just hard you know, to be given no choice at all, but to let that person go. Its hard.
All the questions that you have and some that cant be answered now.
Its hard,
how do you deal with losing someone you love?
I wish i could answer that question.
But i dont think i can. I mean if you just have faith , and hope that things will be okay, then that could make things better.
But what happens if its like a part of you is missing, now that their gone.
Because they meant so much to you. More than they will ever know.
What then?
How do you go on and believe things will be okay when you feel so far from that feeling, the feeling of everything is okay. you know.
I guess somethings cant be answered.
But maybe if you believe that things happen for reasons, you can get that belief that things will be okay, because it all happend for a reason.

Through Someone else's eyes'

Im sure we've all pictured out life through someone else's eyes. Just trying to find that one place where we think we belong, other than in our own eyes you know. Because all you see through your own eyes are people who are hurting or the ones who have hurt you. All you see in pain and suffering from wasting your time regreting the past itself. And you just want to escape from it all. You see people putting on masks to disguise them selves everyday. People who lie to just make it through the day. You see people who are lonely, and just want to know that someone cares. And everyday you face the same questions over and over again.
Then we start to picture our whole entire life through someone else's eyes, because maybe just maybe things will be different and we can find the answers we are looking for. So you open your eyes, pretending their our own eyes when really there someone else's, but you start to notice that everything is the same, you see the same hurt, the same pain, the same lies, and the same questions, and the same suffering. You realize that your not the only one who maybe hurting, or maybe seeing all of the hurt and pain, and suffering around you. So why not do something about it? insteead of trying to put your life in someone else's shoes where you see the same hurt and pain, why not do something to help it?
Some people you know the ones you try to picture your life through their eyes, they just wear a mask, and disguise themselves. And ignore what is really happening in this world. Not even trying to help it. So you go about believing that you want their life because maybe there is no hurt or pain? when really thats a visaud. Because there is hurt and pain and suffering every where. And everyone expeiriences it.
The truth is we all hurt even though some of us hide it better then others. We all fear, we all fall, and we all have a million questions with answers that seem so far away..
Life is meant to find the answers as we grow as a person. No body has al the answers right off the bat, i mean who are we kidding whats the point if we did have all the answers? You just have to fight like hell to find them. So stop wasteing your life away picturing yourself through someone else's eyes.
Just open yours!!
Realize that no matter who you are things are going to be okay because there is a little thing called faith, and hope and if your whilling too you can change. But change for yourself, not to be someone else. Just open your eyes and accept you for you. Dont search for something out of reach. Follow your own dreams not someone else's. And maybe the hurt, the pain, the suffering, the ones who are lonely, who are broken, and lost can be found and can be helped, if you take the time to make things change. instead of trying to be someone your not, and wasteing your time looking at the world and the people who are broken and lost and hurt and are lonely and have nothing. Maybe we can help that.
Just open your own eyes.

Why does the truth sometimes feel so far away'

Every single day we face the same truth. Do we all know what truth is? Its sometimes hard to understand it, because we get so caught up in whats really just lies.

The truth is considered to be the supreme reality, and to have the meaning and value of existance. But why is it that sometimes we get so far from the value of existance or in other words just the plain old truth.
We may face the same truth everyday of our lives. Truth that you have to figure out on your own, kind of like asking yourself, do you live your life in denial, regret, is it all based on sayings and cliches? Where all these sayings express your feelings? Or are they just empty words that meen nothing to your life. Or where the people you hangout with, you later start to become. Maybe even someone you never wanted to be you know. Its like the truth sometimes gets so far away, that when we try to reach it, we fall. I dont know, maybe im off here, but this is how i think of this all.

Truth isnt always knowing whats right compared to whats wrong, the truth well it exists, but how do we always find it when it sometimes drifts away? Like when we drift away from the truth. Our own truth. The one we know so well.
Its always going to be hard to get back, because you have to know whats the truth and what may be the lies.
Why is there even the fake truth, or lies in this world? I meen does it benifett our lives in anyway? Does it show us who we are, or is it like that voice inside your head telling you your something your not, but yet your comfortable with it. Is it all like that?

What is the meaning of a false identity, or just all the lies that we may face in this life? What is its real meaning?
I lie is like a false statement made with dileberate intent to decieve, an intentional untruth.

Words that only push you away from who you are, or maybe take you away from something you love, or even someone you love.
We are always going to face the lies in this life, but it doesnt mean that the truth too far. Its always going to be in reachable distance if yourwhilling to get it back.

We face what is not real all the time, and sooner or later we start to believe it. And that is why right there, that we get so far from the truth, the real existance. You know. Its like our minds only believe in whats not real, something so so far from reality. But why is that?
I guess its from all the lies we face it sometimes makes the truth seem so far away.
hmm .

But think of this, what if reality was all just what we make it. Then what? Does the lies not matter anymore, every false identity and statement not occur to be a lie anymore. Does the truth feel closer or is it still pushed away? What then. If reality was what we made it to be.
Would everything change, would things suddenly be okay?

I dont know, i guess we can only find that out for ourselves.
But the thing is, the truth is in exsitance, and lies are just the intentional untruth. So why do we get caught up in so many false statements, and actions, why cant we just go on believing and knowing that the truth will carry us you now. And everything will be okay. Where for a moment nothing can take whats real away from us. But maybe some of us make it inevitably or you could say impossible to avoide or prevent the lies.
I guess somethings we just have to figure it out on our own, you know, are you living in the truth or is that so far from your life right now?

Just have a little faith that the truth will keep you from all the false statements and identities in this life, Have hope that things will be okay if you just believe that the truth isnt too far. Dont give up.