Papa Pete <3

So about 4 months ago, life through a big obsticle at me and my family.
Something ill never forget.

Someone who was so important in my life, and my families life had been taken out of our lives. It brought tears in all of our eyes, and questions of why he had to be taken away. But God has a plan for everything, and everyone. I guess it was his time to go and be with him.

My Grandpa. Papa Pete.

Id just like to share a little about him, he was an amazing person. Not like any other.
Everytime i went somewhere with him, he knew almost everyone. He was so friendly and he had a lot of friends.
Even though he had struggles in life, and pain, he didnt take things for granted. He lived life to the fullest i know he did.

He had such an amazing and loving heart to anyone. And when you were in a room with him, there was just that warm feeling of love. Something i miss so much.

His smile, it made things feel okay again, as if there was still hope no matter what.
He was an amazing person, and the best grandfather anyone could ever ask for.
When i was younger he used to always build and paint things with me, he showed me alot about life, and he showed me that no matter what life hands you or throws at you, not to give up. Papa Pete never gave up on anything, and anything he started he would always finish no matter what.

When i heard he was in the hospital months ago, my eyes filled with tears. I didnt know what was going to happen. But my grandfather was such a strong man. As he layed in the hospital fighting for so long, he never gave up. He brought a smile to his face when i saw him, and he wouldnt ever stop with his jokes! oh his jokes, they always made me laugh.
Then after a few months in the hospital, he was able to come home.
By then it was summer. And i always spend summers up at the cottage, a place to get away. And so my Grandpa was able to go up this summer as well. What did i say about him being strong.

My grandpa was such an inspiration to me, he was someone who showed me so much in life in everything he did. A great role model was what he was. Someone i looked up to. He showed me so much.

God was here through it all,
He allowed me to spend a summer with my grandpa, before he past away.
It was great to be with him during the summer. Memories i will never forget.

Papa Pete was the closest father figure to me that ive have in years.
He was such an amazing person and had a personality of gold. His heart was so loving and kind, open to anyone.
The way he cared about everyone, and tried to help.

I know that even though this had to happen. God has been here through it all, and he will always be here. I know that my grandpa is up there with him right now.

I just wanted to say some things about my Grandpa. Even though it was his time to go, he hasnt left my heart at all. And
Even thoough i just have memories of him, they are memories that i will never forget, they will always stay in my heart. My grandpa will always be in my heart.
He will always be someone i look up, and i want to be like him. He is my role model, someone who has shown me how to get through obsticles in life, someone who has taught me never to give up, and someone who has shown me to follow my dreams, and that there is hope, i just have to be strong.

Even though he cant be here with me today, one day we will see each other again. And the pain ive felt because he isnt here will dissappear.

I miss him so much, and i love him with all my heart.

Papa Pete your always going to be in my heart,
and your someone i will always look up to.
because of you, im not giving up' and im not losing my hope.
<3

Through anything in life, im always going to be here for you'

This is a poem that i found a while ago, and id just like to put it out to someone who is a really important person in my life.

She is such a good friend to me, and i love her to death.

This is for you Erin,

I cant give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,

or fears. But i can listen to you, and together we will

search for anwers.

I cant change your past with all its heartache and pain,

nor the future with its untold stories.

But i can be there now when you need me to care.

I cant keep your feet from stumbling.

I can only offer my hand tha you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;

Yet i can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;

I can only support you, encourage you,

and help you when you ask.

I cant prevent you from falling away from friendship,

from your values, from me.

I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait fro you.

I cant give you boundaries which i determined for you,

But i can give you the room to change, room to grow,

room to be yourself.

I cant keep your heart from breaking and hurting,

But i can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces

and put them back in place.

I cant tell you who you are.

I can only love you and be your friend.

Your an amazing person, and friend to me Erin. I will always be here for you no matter what this life throws at us.

<3>

Sometimes in life, we think that holding on to something, or someone is what makes us stronger.
But what happens when holding on becomes an excuse of the fear of letting go?

There comes times when what makes us stronger is letting go.

The moment you realize that what you have been holding onto has been a lie, an over exaggerated belief that what you have been holding onto will change. Something or someone that has been a waste of time trying so hard not to let them go.
Or the moment you realize that your going to be alright with out that one thing you have been holding onto. And that is when you become stronger.
Letting go.

Breathe

Written by Isa & Dani Johnson

Finding that the feeling inside of you

Is more than you can bare

When the past is staring you in the face

When the prison you've been living in feels like home to you

Just know that forgiveness is the sweetest thing

Forgiveness is the sweetest thing

When you let it all go is the sweetest thing

Cause you can breathe again

When the on next to you is the one thats caused you pain

If you've been drowning in your guilt and in your shame

If you've been fighting and struggling to break free

Or if you've been left behind by the one you thought loved you the most

Just know that forgiveness is the sweetest thing

Forgiveness is the sweetest thing

When you let it all go is the sweetest thing

Cause you can breathe again

It's time to leave the grief behind

It's time to lay pride aside

It's time to go the other way

The way to life

Its crazy how you can look up at the sky and see a bird soar above you and wonder where it is headed, or where it is called to be.
And then you can think of someone that you love, or once loved and as they walk away, all you wonder now is where they are headed, or where they were called to be. And why they had to go, leaving you there glancing at the dark blue sky above.

As the sun gets pushed away from the grey clouds suddenly taking over, tears start to fall down your face as you realize that like a bird we are all designed to be something and someone, and that not everyone that comes into our lives always stay. Because like a bird, you can glance up and see it, but then a second goes by and it is off to where it is called to be. For a moment you can have everything and everyone you need in your life, and then a second flys by and suddenly what you once had has dissapeared, vanished and is something you can no longer call yours, except for the vague memories you have left.

People always leave, and what was once said is that you dont realize or apreciate the things you have in life, until they are gone. Sometimes we substitute "things" to people. Where we dont appreciate the ones who are in our lives, until we no longer have them in our lives. Until the moment comes when we cant call them mine, or ours.

And right then, as the clouds cover the sun completely, and rain starts to fall, until the tears rolling down your face are no longer visible, where it just looks like the rain falling. And the rain reminds you of all the times that you have fallen, and lost the ones you loved through disasters, keeping you from getting back up, it reminds you of all the times you have burried yourself in memories and thoughts of the past and the people who used to be in it, that are no longer
in your lives today. Its like on a dark day where the sun isnt shining anymore, all the rain brings is doubt, pain, shame of holding onto the things you know are gone.

But when it does rain, why not think of it as a chance to get back up, like when the rain falls and blends in with the tears, and resembles the times when you have fallen or are falling, and cant find that strength to pick yourself up and get back up. Why not let the rain take a whole other meaning, like another chance to pick yourself up from the hole you have fallen into, and the thought of knowing that the rain cant keep you down, and the tears that you have cried can no longer blend with the rain because your not giving up this time, and there isnt going to be any tears,

because instead of falling with the rain. You are having the desire to bring yourself back to life. And having the belief that even though like a bird that can be gone within a second, not everything in your life vanishes, or is taken away.
Because there is hope for alot of things in this life if you believe it, and take it in with every breath. And having that faith that not everything falls like the rain, and not everything dissapears like a bird soaring above the sky, but things and people have hope in getting back up even if they have been through a storm, and have seen the light change to darkness. Anything is possible.

You just have to Believe that there is Hope, because there is. Just dont lose your Faith.

Reasons why i love him <3

So usually i write about things that i like to get out instead of holding something in, and the biggest thing is to try to tell people that no matter how tough life can be and how you may come to crossroads in life and you dont know what path or direction to go in, and your sitting in a place where your confused, and worried about where your going to be and who you are. I like to say that life is going to throw things at you but no matter what you have to be strong, and you cant lose your faith and hope in the things you love the most and the things you trust, because in time things will and can get better if you let them. Sometimes you just have to let go of some things that you have been holding onto. Sometimes the past might hurt, but you have to let it go to move on.

But for this post i am going to write about someone who means the world to me, someone who has shown me alot of things about life and who has made a huge difference in my life, someone who i can trust with my whole heart. Someone i believe god put in my life for a reason, and i am so thankful for that. I couldnt ever be happier.

His name is Cody, we have been dateing for over 9 months and it will be 10 months soon when novemember comes around : ) He is an amazing guy, and has an amazing personality and such a careing and loving heart. He sees me for who i am and not someone im not, i can be myself around him. He is going to make such a big difference in this world someday i know he is, and he already has in my life.
I love him so much,
Not only is he my boyfriend but he is my bestfriend, i can tell him anything and i can trust him. And he is always there for me in good and bad times, if im going through somethings he is always right there to help me through it and tell me not to give up. He really does put a smile on my face, even if its the last thing i want to do. His love helps remind me that good things no matter what are still possible. And to always believe that anything is possible. He brings the best out of me, and brightens up my life with his love. His love has helped me to rediscover myself and who iam, because at some points we all lose ourselves and forget who we were. He helped me be who i am and not someone else. Cody is such an amazing guy, and he isnt like any other guy. When im with him, it feels like nothing else matters except for the moment spent in each others arms.
He has the most careing heart, and even when i am really really grumpy he still likes me = ) Everytime i think of him i find myself smiling. Every moment spent with him is so incredible, and i love every second of it.

.. our tickle wars, and rock paper scissor wars.... i love it how i win everytime and he is always in denial. Its cute = )
I cant explain the feelign i get when im with him, its like for once things actually make sence, and nothing can come between us. I feel liek when im with him anythign is possible, like i can do anything. He fills my life with joy and happiness. Every moment we spend together i always treasure and i will never forget. there always times worth remembering. All the times when we have serious coversations and then one second goes by and we are laughing about something totally different, it usually starts with a tickle war. God put him in my life for a reason and it filled my life with such an amazing joy. I am so thankful to have him in my life and i thank God everyday.

He means everything to me, and he is my anchor in lifes ocean, and most of all my best friend! He has seen me with no make up on, and he still loves me.

i am so blessed.

There are endless reasons why i love him but those are some reasons.
He means everything to me,
and he has made such an incredible difference in my life. And i know one day he is going to make a big difference in alot of peoples lives, i really believe that.
I love him so much <3

Maybe beyond everything; the real answer is to stop running"

Truth...

It still exists, it really does. You just have to believe that you know. Even though you come to points in your life, where truth can be so so cold, and dark, and a feeling youve never felt before. Maybe even more painful than you have ever imagined in your whole entire life. Where you have been faced with lies, and yet you learn to live with them, but when you are faced with the truth that may be even more cruel than any lie out there, its really hard to understand the difference between them. And you just want to run away and leave this place.

Theres always those times that we end up at, when we want to choose a different path, where we want to lead and lean towards a different direction because we are sick of the same thing over and over again. Where we just want to get up and go. At this moment you have to make choices, if you are going to let everyone define who you are before you even have the chance to figure that out for your self. See each day we are given choices, a whole lot of choices, but two very importan ones are, are you going to get up and move forward today, or are you going to simply give up?

After a while we tend to just give up, because we realize that its the same thing over and over again. Weither its the lies that we face, the truth that is always there and said to be the truth but ends up lost. When we just want out you know, because you feel as if nothing is going to change. When all you really want and wish for, is for that simple change that you know can happen but it feels so far away.

So this is why you want to start over and leave, for one moment to a place where you dont know anyone and no body knows you, or who you have been, where suddenly you can figure out who you really are and who you want to actually be for once. Because you have been living so long, being the person that everyone else knows you as, the person they defined you as. Someone youjsut cant be anymore. Someone your actually running from. Sometimes because of how other people have labled you its really hard to figure out who you are, but because its only when you are tested when you truley discover who you are. and when you can discover who you want to be and who you can be. Just because each day we are labeled and defined as something that is completely oposite doesnt mean the person you want to be is to far to reach and doesnt exist because it does. Somewhere , out there, in your faith and hope and belief that beyond your heartach and the fear that you feel that life has who you can be and want to be does exist.

Sometimes it takes a leap of faith to show people who that is, because you may be hiding under that mask , that label, that people have defined you as.
So just stop running,

When you do want to get up and go , because you feel it is the same thing over and over again and you just want to start over, why not right here, in the same place your at? Just dont except what they define you as, change who you are for you. and show everyone that who you can be and want to be does exist. Then maybe they will learn the truth you know, and not the hard truth, because all your doing is showing them who you really are, and maybe they will learn to do the same.

There is going to come times when every solution you can think of consist of getting away.
When you just want to get up and go, but maybe beyond that, the real answer is to just stop running.
Stop running from all the lies, or the hurtful truth, stop running from the person you have been, or the person others define you as, and stop running from always being in the same place every single day, just for once stop running, and take each day at a time because in life we will come to crossroads and we may not have a map, or a destination to go to so we tend to just turn around and go back, but instead of running away from our fears, and our past, we just have to live with it and move forward each day.

And believe that running isnt the solution but taking the steps to a new direction is a new beginning.