trying to figure it all out.

So many times, i sit here in silence, and i try to make sence of it all.
So many times i have sat here and glanced at the ceiling, wondering why no matter how hard you try to keep someone, theres always that moment when they leave.

I dont understand how people can just be here one moment and gone another,
how families can be destroyed, how children can be taken away in a matter of seconds, how all of this causes hurt in our hearts, how our hearts break in half because of something that makes no sence to us at all.

How no matter how hard we try to keep these memories close to our hearts, sooner or later they find away of fading.
We try to keep there smell around, for the sake of believing that they are still here. But eventually that smell goes away,

I have sat here so many times, i just dont understand why you had to leave, why i was there and there was nothing i could do.....
i miss you :(

.. I'm making my way b a c k

"disaster in a bottle.:"

We all make mistakes at some points in our lives, some are just bigger than others, some actually make a difference.
Some mistakes just come and go within a day, where we just let it go and we move on, but others stick with yeah for a while before it feels like its seperated from you.

Mistakes are mistakes.. its what writes your past, and what writes your future. Mistakes are little obsticles in life that we choose to walk through, and in the end its usually just this big big overwhelming weight of regret. That we carry around each day, some are more heavy than others.

We are told to take chances, and so we do, sometimes alot of thought is put into these steps of chance, and sometimes there is no thought at all.

So we walk around with this huge weight over our shoulder, and we forget how we even got to this place.

Could just numerous little drops of mistakes, regret, fear, questions, popularity, insecurity, failure, depression, lonelyness, ambitiousness, and curiosity actually fit into one bottle?

Could that bottle actually change the rest of the steps that you take in life? Could it change everything?

Too many times when we make a mistake, we tend to forget who we are, so we give up, we lose that ability to hold onto hope. We tend to just fall into old patterns, we tend to just make more mistakes, and instead of finding the way out of things, and the light, we stay in the place we are, because its the person you know now, its the girl you have become familiar with, its the girl that all your friends know now.

so how do you get out?

Do you pick that bottle up and drop it so that all the drops of mistakes, regret, fear, questions, popularity, insecurity, failure, depression, lonelyness, ambitiousness, and curiosity all pour out of this bottle?
The one thing that go you to this dark place.

Just amounts of disaster filled in a bottle.

Do you walk this new life? Still with that weight on your shoulder, and that bottle in your hand.

Or do you find away out?
What is the way out?